


Anchoring

by LucyRasmussen



Category: Magnum P.I. (TV 2018)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:33:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 41
Words: 35,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26051212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyRasmussen/pseuds/LucyRasmussen
Summary: What if fake marrying wasn't the worst decision either of them had ever made?
Relationships: Juliet Higgins/Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV
Comments: 151
Kudos: 411





	1. The Wedding

Title: Anchoring

Note: I sort of flew through this series in under a month, and it has made the summer of 2020 somewhat more bearable. I wasn't a fan of the fake marriage for a visa plotline (because why wouldn't she be there on an employment visa?). I found myself yelling "What would be so bad about marrying the guy you already live with and pretend to dislike when I know you don't" at the tv. So, I decided to write out my thoughts on how that could work. I don't own the show, not sure who does but it isn't me.

1\. The Wedding

Juliet Higgins has been a bride to be before.

With Richard, they'd set a date and her stepmother had not so gently co erced her into trying on wedding dresses in a fancy bridal boutique in Central London.

She'd stood in front of their large floor to ceiling mirrors in dresses with too much lace and ribbons not meant for her.

Long ago, she'd read that you don't find the right wedding dress, the right dress finds you.

It never did. And then Richard died and she never made the second appointment at the bridal store.

Instead she stood in the rain in a cemetery watching his casket being lowered into the earth.

In the distance she'd heard mourning bells.

It's her only recollection of his funeral.

  
Now, though, she's on the brink of marrying someone in the Hawaii sunshine in front of their bizarre but beloved found family.

Robin is to give her away, and if she weren't so nervous she'd swear he was enjoying this far too much.

  
Thomas is waiting for her with the attendant. She can tell even before she lays eyes on him that he's equally jittery.

They stand in front of their friends and manage to speak their vows without hackling them too much.

_"You may now kiss the bride."_

It's a brief, fleeting kiss. But she can feel promise in it.

_"I now pronounce you husband and wife."_

Now she's officially tethered to this island, to this life, to him.

All she feels is a profound sense of overwhelming relief.

Like she can finally leave the mourning bells and the rain behind her.


	2. The Condition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It makes sense that married couples, even fake married ones would sleep together, right?

The Condition

He hadn't thought that fake marriage would come with real conditions.

At least, until Robin pulls him aside during their wedding dinner to talk these conditions through.

He used up all his favours with his buddy in the Immigration department, so he is adamant that they follow certain rules to keep the ICE officers out the door.

One of them being sleeping together.

It's a blurry tale of both sides of the bed being slept in, almost like he's had experience in fake marriage matters.

So he moves in the second master bedroom.

It's actually a spacious attic loft which until now had been completely off limits to him.

And surprisingly she doesn't fight him on this.

Doesn't threaten to kill him for snoring (which he doesn't do).

He can tell she's uncertain in the way she looks at him while he unpacks his clothes.

He's designated the window side of the bed, and she sleeps on the door side.

On their first morning of fake marriage, he catches her looking at her wedding ring and the way the early morning light catches on it when she moves her hand in a certain way.

"Suits you"

She doesn't respond, just keeps moving her fingers so the reflection bounces off the ceiling above them.

He mimics her until the two converge and she appears to hold her breath.

Thinking this moment is somewhat too surreal just yet, she quickly pulls her hand away.

But it will always stick with him and it'll be the first thing he'll remember about his wedding night. 


	3. Yours and Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they learn to appreciate the other one's hobbies.

_"You are joking!"_

Juliet Higgins is competent in a lot of sports, excluding water sports that is.

But she'd promised him that she'd at least attempt some of his favourites.

So now she's standing on top of a surfboard holding the paddle trying to keep her balance.

He's so much better at balancing then she is.

She looks behind her at the rapidly disappearing shore line.

He nudges her to go a little further, around the bend of the rocks.

Where the ocean opens up into a vast blue expanse.

Just the two of them and the water and the open sky.

_"Do you hear it?"_

_"Hear what?"_

_"Nature, freedom."_

She's about to protest that freedom doesn't have a sound, but the jibe refuses to form.

In the distance, she sees figures leaping. She doesn't think she's ever seen dolphins outside of the zoo.

They sit on their boards watching them at play until the sun goes down. 

_"You are joking."_

Thomas Magnum likes to think that he's competent at most sports.

Yoga is not something he's previously qualified as such.

But he promised her he'd try.

So they're sitting face to face on her platform, and he's focusing on his breathing and on everything she tells him he should be focusing on.

_"Breathe in"_

_"Breathing in"_

_"Hold a few seconds"_

_"Holding...still holding"_

_"And out"_

She exhales pouting her lips and he can feel the puff of her breath against his shoulder.

He imitates her and his breath moves a wisp of her hair.

They make it a game, who can hold their breath the longest and who can make the biggest exhale.

Kumu watches them from the kitchen window as they collapse with laughter and shakes her head.

She wasn't a fan of the idea, but the longer she observes them she realises that it might not have been worst decision either.

Robin will be pleased to hear this, she thinks.


	4. The Haunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which he has recurring nightmares.

They're three weeks into their fake marriage when the nightmare comes.

_"You find wife."_

The words echo as he sits up, and reality slowly comes back to him.

He's in bed, in the loft, Juliet is sleeping next to him. There are birds cackling outside the window and the waves lap on the beach.

Making sure she stays asleep, he creeps out of bed towards the chair underneath the window.

Stares up at the stars until the cold sweat and the terror starts fading away.

_"Reza, again?"_

She's leaning on her elbow, looking at him questioningly.

He hadn't even noticed her waking.

_"Tell me. Please."_

  
She's looking so earnest it kills him to tell her no.

It claws at his chest and all of the sudden, the words come spilling out.

  
_He was held in a POW camp just outside Kabul. Rick was there, and so was a scrawny little man named Reza._

_He'd never known exactly why Reza was there or why the guards kept him alive._

_Reza was possibly the only positive thing in any of the prisoners lives._

_He knew little English, but what little he did know he used to talk about his wife Alia._

_Within the first hour of meeting Reza, he'd already understood that it was a love marriage and that her father apparently did not have to sell livestock to pay for the wedding._

_That Alia was the fairest and the prettiest and he was very happy to be her husband._

_Rick always theorised that Reza was imprisoned because he could talk the ears off anyones worst enemy and force them into confessing anything and everything._

  
"It was my fault, you know."

She hands him a glass of water and he watches as the moonlight catches on her wedding ring. A strange jolt runs through him.

"Tell me."

He lets her lead him back to the bed, where they lay side by side looking up at the beams.

Listens to her steady breathing as she waits for him to start talking.

  
_He'd never asked what happened to Alia._

_Where she was, if she was alive somewhere out there._

_He'd sometimes catch Reza near the camp fence when the guards where switching shifts._

_Looking up at the stars above the clear desert sky._

_"Up there, Alia. See."_

_He'd stand with Reza for a time while he pointed at random stars to indicate where she was._

_The only time Reza didn't speak was when someone asked him if she had died._

_After that, he wouldn't speak for a week. Sometimes a month depending on the way he'd been asked._

_Just lumbered about the camp looking shell shocked._

  
"It didn't have to mean that, exactly, you know."

But he knows. He'd recognised the grief.

Her fingers are next to his and he feels her hesitation to move them closer.

So he laces their hands and feels the coolness of her skin on his palm.

  
_After six months, maybe nine, a new commander was appointed to the camp._

_Where the previous one had not been hot or cold concerning his American charges, this one downright hated them._

_He did not spare the isolation cell nor public punishment when he felt it was needed._

_And it was needed a lot._

_Thomas saw the inside of the isolation booth more times then he can now count._

_A dank room no bigger then a storage closet which smelled of fear and sweat._

_He still can't do small spaces to this day._

  
She crept closer to him, perhaps to make sure he knows she's real and she's still here listening.

  
_One morning in August the prisoners were summoned into the prison courtyard._

_Overnight the new commander had instructed a scaffold be built there. Over the sweat of 200 men, he can smell wood varnish._

_He stood on there, speaking in Farsi to their uncomprehending faces. But Thomas understood enough._

_Bread had gone missing from the guards pantry. Not just a common loaf, but a whole basket worth._

_He had ordered his guards to coat the next delivery with extra flour so the thief would find it sticking to his hands._

_The guards had basically gathered them to see a show of hands._

_He watched disdainfully as his men ordered them to stand with palms outstretched in the burning sun._

_Somewhere in the crowd he heard a voice protesting._

_He dares not to look as Reza is dragged to the scaffold but starts resisting right in front of him._

  
"I still don't understand how that was your fault."

"I couldn't save him, Jules."

  
_Reza grabbed his collar, his eyes desperate like only a dying man can be._

_"You find wife, Mr. Magnum. Find wife like my Alia. Make her happy. I go to Alia now."_

_Another guard barked at him to stare straight ahead. Do not look or acknowledge the prisoner._

_He stares straight ahead as the command is given and Reza dies._

_They leave the body there as an example. He passes it every day and he still doesn't dare look at the withering remains._

_He thinks the guilt and the failure are what causes Reza to haunt his dreams._

_Sometimes he'll be the happy Reza as he met him. Sometimes he'll stand there with the blood dripping from his neck._

_Those are the worst nights because he can not and will not go back to sleep afterwards._

  
"And it doesn't help that you are now married?"

She's gone back to laying on her back next to him, their fingers still linked.

"Fake married."

"Still counts."

She can be so defiant sometimes.

  
But he does feel a sort of peace coming over him.

He listens to her breathing in the dark and tries to match the rhythm.

Something he's gotten used to without realising it.

"Close your eyes, go to sleep."

He feels his body fighting sleep but it is slowly creeping in.

"I'm here."

  
Afterwards, he indeed doesn't see Reza broken and battered anymore.

He sees Reza as he was before captivity. Wearing a bright coloured tunic and a big smile.

"You found wife, I am so happy, Mr. Magnum. She is very pretty"

A veiled woman is standing next to him, he can only see her big green emerald eyes.

He watches as they fade away.

And so do the nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aka stuff I come up with on idle Tuesdays. I wanted to write something darker, I'm going to add a trigger warning just in case.
> 
> I appreciate all the kudos and knowing that stuff I write is being read. Please keep them coming.


	5. The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they deal with an escapist goat and a thunderstorm.

The air has been heavy with rain all week.

The rain season is upon them but biding its sweet time to actually burst loose.

She knows because everyone, even sweet even tempered Rick, has been sulky and ill tempered and very very shouty lately.

So she stays at The Nest (it's not technically Robins anymore so they've taken to calling it something more neutral) and drinks tea while she watches the clouds darken.

  
Somewhere in the distance she can hear a pathetic bleating sound.

Ellie The Goat has once again defied the pen Thomas built her and managed to get lost in the shrubbery.

She swears that no pen exists that she cannot figure out and escape from.

  
She follows the sound of the bleating all the way to the edge of the property line, because obviously the goat is boundary testing.

Just then she feels a raindrop fall in the back of her neck and the sudden sensation makes her jump.

Still no sign of Ellie though. 

The drops fall more frequently and she can hear distant rumbling warning of an incoming thunderstorm.

She finds Ellie standing in the middle of Kumu's vegetable patch happily munching away and not caring that she committing a felony.

The ground is sodden and her flip flops are being sucked in the muddy earth.

Ellie has no real motivation to move nor does she care about the rain coming down harder around them.

  
Juliet thinks that goat herding really wasn't in the job description as she tries to persuade the animal to move to no avail.

She doesn't know how long she's been trying until she hears his voice commanding Ellie to get back to her pen, and surprisingly she obeys.

  
He takes her hand as they run back to the house as the rain is coming down in big sleets, soaking them both the bone.

They reach the porch and their bare feet leave muddy prints on the flagstones. She guesses he's lost his shoes out there too.

She's never seen rain like this even though she's been here two years.

He's put a towel around her shoulders and is urging her to come inside for coffee.

His arm is still around her and she relaxes into his touch, something she's been doing more often without realising lately.

  
She thinks of that moment as the first time she actually enjoyed married life. And the first time she thought she wanted more moments like this.

Always more like this.


	6. The Physicalities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Physicality Came Into Play.

He didn’t get to go his mothers funeral, but he does get to go to her five year memorial service.

His aunt sends him a letter, initially to admonish him for not telling her he got married with a mention of the service as an addendum.

After much hemming and hawing, he allows her to book plane tickets for them both.

He clutches the armrests as the plane takes off and Hawaii disappears from view beneath them.

She falls asleep during the in flight movie, her head resting on his shoulder.

He forgot how cold Virginia nights could be as they settle into the bed.

She's stolen a t shirt from one of the drawers and her bare legs scrape his under the covers.

She’s just waking up by the time he gets out of the shower, and watches him move around the room. 

It’s then that he notices she’s wearing nothing more than that oversized Metallica t shirt and fluffy socks and she’s quite possible the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.

The memorial service is an overly solemn thing, with lots of liturgical music he’s pretty sure his mother never listened to during her lifetime.

He feels like an eight year old again and part of him wants to start fidgetting and talking and wants her stern voice to tell him to be quiet.

Instead he feels Juliets fingers on his wrist and there's plenty of admonishment in that alone.

His aunts fawn over her over her Britishness at the would be wake afterwards and he laughs when she wordlessly asks to be saved from scone recipes and questions about the royal family.

He steals her away for some fresh air, and they walk in the cold November evening. The sun is setting and he feels incredibly complete for the first time in a long time.

They visit his mothers grave, the closest thing they’ll ever have to the two most important women in his life meeting.

He suddenly considers kissing her. Here, in the cold dusk.

And the thought just won’t release him even as they walk back to his aunts house and she huddles close to him.

He inhales the scent of her vanilla perfume. She smells so much like home. Of beaches and saltwater and sunlight.

He watches her fuss while getting ready for bed and all of the sudden something inside him snaps.

He pulls her close and crashes his mouth on hers.

She reciprocates in equal measure and he feels her hands snaking around his waist holding him to her.

Neither of them notices his aunt in the doorway, looking somewhat embarrassed at catching them like this. She carefully places the extra quilt on the bed as though it was an explosive device.

When she finally leaves, she leans into him and he feels her shake with laughter.

The momentum has passed, but he knows she wants better for their first time. Not a forlorn teenage bedroom with a worn mattress and too thin walls. They’ll get their chance back home, preferably dozens of them.

So they only sleep that night, his fingers scoping her body through her shirt. 

He makes her promise to smuggle it with her when they leave.


	7. The Stake Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a standard detective thing goes awry.

The thing they quietly promised each other in Virginia doesn’t happen right away.

Mainly because catching up on their case load takes up so much of their time and energy. Even though they’d only been gone four days, every married woman on the island with the slightest suspicion of being cheated on appears to have found their address.

They rarely get husbands suspecting affairs which both amuses and mystifies her.

They divide the stake outs between them, often by Rock Paper Scissors.

So instead of enjoying the sunset whilst figuring out what they now mean to each other, she’s observing a shitty nightclub waiting for their target. He arrived at 9 pm with a scantily clad woman, and is appearing to have a good time since it’s now 3 am going on 4 am.

The club closes at dawn, and she watches him stumble out with a different, even worse dressed woman then the one he arrived with. 

She takes the necessary pictures for their file and decides to call it a night. He’ll be up soon and perhaps they can still have breakfast before he leaves for his own stake out.  
  


* * *

The thing they quietly promised eachother in Virginia doesn’t happen right away.

They’d only been gone four days, giving Rick and TC ample time to turn their PI agency into a veritable broken hearts club. They are currently shadowing no less then four different cheating husbands at the request of suspicious wives.

They like to contrast and compare since all four of them are pretty foul human beings.

They haven’t talked about the two of them and Virginia and what this will mean going forward.

He sits and ponders while keeping an eye on the all you can eat barbecue place his target is treating his mistress to right now. She is looking dismayed as he scoffs ribs and picks at her salad.   
  


The air is heavy with the smell of cooked meat and his stomach is growling.

He waits for them to leave, his target choosing to pick a fight with a waiter over the bill, presumably. The mistress follows on his heels as he storms away and almost forgets her in the parking lot.

He takes pictures for their file and decides to call it a day.

Ponders calling her because they've hardly seen eachother today and he feels a ridiculous need to hear her voice. He wonders when he became that guy and quickly dismisses the thought.

She’s not home when he gets there, but considering she’s staking out a nightclub he didn’t expect her to be. She hasn’t called so he assumes he’ll see her in the morning then.

He wakes at 5 am and doesn’t find her sleeping next to him.

His phone beeps and he drowsily listens to his voicemail.

_”Thomas! He’s got me, please help!”_

He jolts awake and his phone beeps again.

A message from an unknown sender, and his heart skips two or three beats as he opens the attachment.

He stares into her petrified brown eyes and the only thing that crosses his mind is is that he should have called her when his gut told him to.

  
tbc ...


	8. The Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things are dark and scary.

_  
She never thought darkness had a taste._

_in here, wherever here is, it tastes metallic and filthy._

_Everytime she moves dirt comes down and it gets everywhere. She can feel it clinging to her sweaty skin._

_There is something jammed in her ear which she can’t reach with her bound hands._

_It crackles like a radio._

_”Keep still, Miss Higgins. Moving will only cost you precious oxygen.”_

_She’s not a cryer but she can feel panicked tears mingling with the dirt._   
  


_“Let’s see how good of a detective your husband truly is.”_

_Before a different sort of darkness overtakes her she convinces herself that he’ll be there when she wakes and this will all have been an awful dream._


	9. The Terror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they are afraid, obviously.

He didn't think being the subject in a missing persons case would be like this.

Everything is happening in slow motion around him, Gordon is endlessly making phone calls and Rick and TC hovering in the doorway.

_"He's got me, Thomas."_

The words just play over and over in his head.

From what he's gathered he knows that her car was found outside the shitty nightclub she was staking out, in a shitty neighbourhood with a bunch of broken security cameras.

So basically (and what Gordon isn't saying yet) they don't know where to start.

In every other case, it seemed so easy to just send the chopper up and whoever they were looking for was ultimately found.

Now that it's one of their own, they really can not do any of those things.

Kumu sets down a plate of fruit in front of him with a stern command he eat something.

_"You gotta eat man."_

TC stares down at him and he knows there's a hidden implication that they'll check out the neighbourhood for themselves if he does so.

*

She's still enveloped in darkness.

The crackling in her ear is driving her mad though the initial fear appears to have abated somewhat.

She guesses she's got a few inches between her face and the cover of the box she's in. There is radio reception so she can not be that deep below ground.

Instead, and as long as her captor isn't sending her messages she inhales and exhales in the hopes that her daily excercises do indeed help.

She tries not to despair, tries not to think of how big this island is and whether she's buried on a remote beach or somewhere deep in the jungle.

Tells herself not under any circumstance think that way.

*

The neighbourhood where she was taken consists mostly of ill named nightclubs and run down buildings.

The nightclub has a neon sign shaped like a palm tree which is lit up even though it's almost noon.

He can't stop staring at it and doesn't know why.

_"You really want me to stake out a place called The Kokomo? Like the song?"_

After that he'd randomly hum it in passing until she threatened to smother him in his sleep. And she meant it.

He's shaken out of his reverie by something Rick found on the roadside, something much like a piece of a license plate.

*

_"You've been here eight hours, Miss Higgins. Just for your information. He hasn't come for you, has he?"_

He spooks her and she bangs her head against the lid, making another cloud of dirt come down over her throat and chest.

He hisses more threats in her ear, making her shudder.

She wants to scream, loud enough that she's heard on the other side of the city.

But all that comes out is hoarse coughing.

*

The partial license plate is in the end, not the answer. 

*

She's thirsty.

Her throat is choked with dirt and sweat and she feels the temperature rising with every passing second.

"Now, now, Miss Higgins, or should I call you Jules? It's what he calls you, is it not?"

He's the only one that calls her that. It's what he calls her indoors, his and his nickname alone.

_"It's okay, Jules."_

Leading her back into the house during the thunderstorm, wrapped in a towel and in his embrace.

_"I'll fix the goat pen tomorrow."_

The kidnapper has been at the house.

The realisation hits her like a ton of bricks.

*

"Hey man, it was a long shot."

He looks over at Rick, squeezing his shoulder in commiseration.

He drives home and the silence that greets him is deafening.

As he sinks down on the couch he sees a strange light reflecting on the wine bottles they keep upstairs for their own use.

*

_"Oh, oh, Miss Higgins. It's almost 11 pm. Do you know where your husband is?"_

He laughs, an odd vicious laugh.

_"I don't think he is that bothered, to be honest."_

She's too tired to scream or cry anymore.

Just as her body gives in to exhaustion, she can hear an odd whistling sound.

Not coming from above her. Coming from her earpiece.

It's a bird screeching. A parrot to be exact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for earworming anyone reading this fic, I didn't really know what else to call a nightclub off the top of my head.


	10. The Clue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which something insignificant becomes significant.

The bug is no bigger then his fingertip, blinking in a steady pace.

He thinks back over anyone who has been inside the house over the past month.

And in the back of his mind, he keeps seeing that damn neon palm tree from the nightclub.

*

Opening her eyes is difficult.

She worries that the dirt might damage her eyesight if any more falls down into her eyes

Her earpiece crackles and she listens for the sound of the bird again. But it remains quiet.

It clogs her throat and she feels dirty and helpless.

Perhaps the idea that for the first time in a long time, she is truly helpless makes tears prick.

*

He searches the desk not really knowing what it is he's looking for.

But the damn image won't go away so he trust his instincts that that's where he should start.

He knocks a paperweight of the desk and there he finds his lead.

*

_For such a large estate, they have lousy tv reception._

_It's not a big issue since neither of them really watch much of anything, but it does apparently bug Robin._

_So they're not surprised when a cable repair service shows up on an idle Tuesday saying Robin arranged for him to fix the cable._

_They're too busy to notice or babysit him so they let him go about his business._

_The only thing he leaves behind is a business card and the bill on the coffee table._

*

She idly sweeps her feet around to keep active, in a way.

There isn't much way for them go as she has given up kicking against the upper lid.

Her legs are in a state of numbness and waking when she feels it.

Something rounded and smooth under her ankle.

*

He stares at the businesscard for a long time.

Long enough for him not to notice Rick walking in.

They snatch the card from his fingers and wait for him to talk.

The business card, for Hanley Electronics and Cable Repair, sports a neon palm tree in the top right corner.

*

She dreams, or at least she thinks she is.

She's standing on a beach, not one she's familiar with.

Thomas is standing there, staring up at a palm tree.

There is another woman whom she doesn't recognise watching them as though they are actors in a play, about to say their first words.

When neither of them do she takes the word.

"Clever cookie, that husband of yours. Think he'll figure it out?"

"Figure what out?"

"Where we are, where you are, more likely."

The dream is broken by a loud noise in her earpiece, startling her awake.

Her kidnapper doesn't appear to be in mood for taunts at the moment.

She hears the parrot screeching for a long time.

It's only when she listens intently that recognises words.

"Susie, Jenny, 'Manda, Kaya, Ju-lee-et."

Her foot is rubbing against the smooth round surface again and the realisation dawns on her like a ton of bricks.

*

Gordon is taking his sweet time running a background check on Hanley Electronics, far too long.

He looks up at the notice board in the bullpen, decorated with missing persons posters.

Tries not to imagine one with her on it. Wonders if there should be any made.

He reads the names over and over again.

Susannah Mays. Jenny Han. Amanda Richard. Kaya Lilet.

And all of the sudden things start clicking into place.

He storms into the tech lab, babbling incoherently about the notice board and palm trees.

Before Gordon or the lab tech can even respond, he's already out the door.


	11. The Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which well ...

The address on the business card is a vacant lot.

Just a rundown building with scorch marks on the walls and a dusty area surrounding it.

But he waits. It can not possibly be this easy.

*

_"Jenny, Susie, 'Manda, Kaya, Ju-lee-et."_

The bird screeches until she hears a door opening and slamming shut.

_"I bet you must be thirsty, Miss Higgins. I'm sure your husband will be along shortly"_

She rubs her ankle over what she's now sure is a skull, and she tries to drown out the taunts.

Her wrists hurt from the bindings, she can feel them burning everytime she moves her fingers.

"It's been 48 hours and counting, I guess he's forgotten. Don't worry, guy like that isn't short on pretty women to put in his bed, is he?"

*

The lock breaks without much effort.

He walks around the lot, which appears to stretch further then he initially thought.

There is some woodland at the outer edge, and as he pushes the branches away he thinks he can hear something screeching.

He listens for a few minutes and he knows he's not imagining it.

Moving ahead, he reaches a clearing with a small improvised cabin in the middle.

Cocking his gun he carefully pries open the wood panel acting as a door.

_"Jenny, Susie, 'Manda, Kaya, Ju-lee-et."_

The bird glares at him as he investigates the improvised control panel.

 _"Don't worry, pretty women, never be found. Never never._ _"_

He doesn't notice the shadowy figure creeping up behind him.

*

There's someone other then her kidnapper at the controls.

She hears the bird reacting to someone, and screeching something about never being found.

He's here, she's sure of of it.

Tries to cry out but her voice won't come.

*

For an older woman, she's surprisingly agile.

She smells of woodsmoke and something undefined and it fills his nostrils when she attacks him head on.

He's got height and strength on her but she still puts up a hell of a fight.

_"Where is she?"_

"Oh, whose deadbeat husband are you? Too young to be Suzie's, certainly."

Suzie. Susannah Mays. The poster said she disappeared in 1996 or 1995. Long ago.

_"Where.is.she?"_

The woman just bares her yellow nicotine stained teeth at him as though enjoying the taunt.

She's fighting his hold on her and she spits at him to take his pick.

After he's got her tied down to the sole chair in the room he checks the back of the cabin.

*

She's tried not to cry all this time, but hearing his voice has opened up the floodgates.

He's still fighting the kidnapper but their words are tuned out by static and bird screeching.

Closes her eyes, tries to find her voice but hears someone elses instead.

_"Clever cookie, your husband. Thought so."_

He's calling out to her and with the last of her strength she raises her legs and kicks the lid.

*

He's too stunned by what he's seeing to hear the thudding at first.

But once he regains his focus he listens for the direction of the noise.

The earth is coarse and won't budge easily, but he keeps clawing until he reaches the wooden surface.

*

The light is blinding her when the lid is raised.

He pulls her out and she feels like a ragdoll being dragged across the ground.

She can hear his voice and make out his shape but everything is flurry and she thinks she might faint.

He cradles her for what feels like hours and keeps calling her name.

She looks up at him and she can finally see him clearly.

In the distance she can hear sirens approaching.

Safe. She's alive and safe and here. It's the last thought she has before the world goes black once again.


	12. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which she finally gets to go home.

She's dehydrated and her wrists are bruised from her bindings, but she's a little worse for wear otherwise.

There's an IV administering fluids and she keeps staring as it drips down into her veins.

She catches her reflection in the window and notices that the dirt has indeed gotten everywhere.

Apparently no one thought to bring a washcloth or otherwise clean her up.

Thomas is outside handling the discharge papers and she can hear muted voices discussing her after care.

She's unsteady on her feet as he helps her off the bed and into the wheelchair.

After a few tries she settles down as he fusses and she glares at him.

"Come along, your ladyship, off to the castle we go."

*

She hasn't said a word since he pulled her out of that box.

Not for not wanting to because his wife is never lost for words on purpose.

But she can't.

So he plays it by ear for now and he's thankful that knows her moods well.

*

"Let's get you cleaned up."

He runs the tub while she sits on the stool staring into the middle distance.

Her tank top is caked to her skin and for the first time ever he's stumped by the notion of having to undress a woman.

But she lets him pull it loose and over her head.

Lets him shed the rest of her clothes and support her to the edge of the bath.

When she looks down into the depth she feels panic overtake her. She doesn't want to lay down in an enclosed space. Not ever again.

"No"

"No?"

She shakes her head and huddles against him while glaring at the bathtub.

"I'm an idiot, come along"

*

She has no idea why Robin has a huge walk in shower in his ensuite bathroom, but right now she's thankful that he does.

The water is cascading down on them as they sit on the tiles and he runs the cloth over her arms and face.

They've never had qualms about skin or nudity or what the other was allowed to see.

Just bodies after all, and neither of them has been ever been the shy type.

She could feel his eyes following her as she walked in and he didn't object to being pulled in with her.

So here they are.

She thinks of that silent promise they made in Virginia and how this never figured into any of that.

*

"Tha...Thank you."

She sits on the lounge chair overlooking the back yard in her pilfered Metallica shirt.

They're both still running on leftover adrenaline and tension and sleep is right now indeed for suckers.

He sits down next to her with a tub of ice cream and two spoons.

"Hey, am I your husband or am I your husband?"

"Ye-es"

"So that's what I do, I find you. Always."

He kisses the side of her head and all the tension just appears to evaporate into nothingness.

She's safe and alive and his arms are holding her.

He won't tell her about the kidnapper or where he found her and it doesn't matter right now.

"Tomorrow, Jules. Or the day after that. Whenever you're ready."

*

She dozes in his arms and he thinks back over the graveyard behind the cabin.

Nine graves, sorted three by three.

Meticulously dug and spaced.

He hasn't wanted to tell her to not upset her further.

But he knows she knows.

Always does.


	13. The Aftermath (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is post traumatic suffering (and cuddling)

Gordon gives her 48 hours to get herself together enough to be interviewed.

She looks tiny and vulnerable as she sits on the couch, her knees pulled up to her chest.

Even though Thomas has explained that speech is still difficult, she tries to croak out what she remembers.

Someone ran into her car, and grabbed her when she got out to check the damage.

After that, darkness and dirt. A thing which might have been a skull under her ankle.

Voices and static in her ear.

_"Suzie, Jenny, 'Manda, Kaya, Ju-lee-et"_

For the most part, she contemplates what might have happened to the bird.

Knowing she can't inquire about that, she listens as Gordon asks questions and she gives one word answers.

_"Other...women."_

She watches Thomas and Gordon exchange glances as though she needs protecting from what really happened out there.

*

Thomas watches from the doorway as Gordon questions her over what happened.

Every now and then she looks over to indicate she's still all right.

Even though it's an average sunny day in Hawaii, she's wearing an oversized hoodie and tattered jeans to keep out a non existent chill.

Gordon reaches into his case and shows her the missing persons posters he saw on the bulletin board.

"We think all these women were there with you. I know you've wouldn't have seen them, but Louise Hanley has been doing this for a long time."

She looks over the faces and her face twitches when she sees the last one.

Gordon doesn't appear to notice and starts to gather the posters, and doesn't she see her sneak the last one between the couch cushions.

*

After Gordon has left and he's put her to bed to rest for a few hours he pulls the sheet of paper out.

It's the one for Amanda, who disappeared in 2003.

She was a pretty woman, with blazing red hair and big green eyes.

_"Saw her"_

She's still pale and drowning in her clothes but her eyes seem a bit brighter.

She sits next to him on the couch and allows him to pull her closer, she buries her nose in his neck.

_"Saw her where, Jules?"_

_"Just did."_

*

There's a lump in her throat.

She can't tell if it's a physical one or a mental one but it's definitely there.

Thomas put her to bed after the interview and she didn't even have the energy to protest.

If anything, she's more annoyed that he didn't stay here with her.

_"Clever cookie, your husband."_

_"Yes, he is."_

She stops herself before the bizarre thought of talking to someone unseen can form.

She doesn't have a laptop or tablet up here and her fingers are itching to just find out more. 

So she creeps downstairs and crawls into his lap while he tells her what was on the outside of the box.

*

Nine graves, three by three.

He's pretty sure that if he had a ruler they'd be spaced the exact same distance apart.

Gordon isn't telling him much but from what he can gather he accidentally stumbled on the trophy cabinet of a serial killer.

So far, every grave has uncovered at least one body and the press is loving it.

_"'Manda"_

It's going to take a while to identify all the skeletons but he's sure she's there too.

Louise Hanley isn't saying much, instead she sits in her cell in what can only be described as a simmering silence.

Interrogating hasn't brought forth much except an intense hatred of other women daring to come near her.

_"Go there?"_

He looks down at those sad brown eyes and it kills him to tell her no.

_"No, babe, it's too soon. But when the crime techs are finished, I'll take you there, promise."_

She seems to jolt at his sudden nickname for her, and she smiles his into his shoulder.

_"Yeah, I said it."_

_"Babe."_

She lets out a sound which he presumes is a giggle and it reverbates through him.

They sit like that for a while, because it's Sunday afternoon and her sweater is soft and the radio plays good music.

Just for a while, the world isn't a terrible place full of murdered women and hatred and gravesites.

It's just nice. A married kind of nice.


	14. The Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet suffers her demons, and he watches helplessly from afar.

It's been two weeks and he can literally see her ribs through her shirt.

She's not a great eater, wasn't even before she was kidnapped but she's down to scraps now.

It doesn't matter what Kumu puts in front of her, the plate will usually be left as it was. On a good day, there will be some orange peels or kiwi fruit skin left.

But it's still not enough.

She wanders around the house and sits out on the deck but can't seem to find the energy for much more then that.

Her walls have gone up again, and he has no idea how to tear them down this time.

*

The screeching still echoes in her mind.

All day and all night, in a cacophony of words and sounds and it never stops.

Things were going so well, especially on that Sunday after Gordon came to take her statement.

They'd been flirting on the sofa and he offered to cook for her and she'd actually forgot for a few hours.

She had watched him move about the kitchen occasionally asking her to hand him things.

She was looking for a casserole dish in a high cabinet and hadn't heard him sneaking up on her.

He'd whispered in her ear, right in her ear and she'd never jumped so high out of freight.

He doesn't understand and she can't explain it to him.

The words still won't come and it just gets heaped on top and all she can do is helplessly watch.

*

She comes to bed after him, usually far after midnight.

He watches her sleep, a twitchy light sleep which he's sure isn't giving her any peace of mind.

_"Just let me help you, please?"_

*

She can't even remember what it was that he whispered.

It just kickstarted the noises and the suppressed trauma and it's taken her by force.

She sits out on the deck staring at the plate of fruit she's been ordered to eat hours ago but she doesn't even have the energy to pick up the slices.

It's 2 am and the stars are glowing bright above. It's pretty much the only thing that soothes her these days.

Richard always thought astronomy and stargazing was bollocks, no matter how many times she'd begged him to take her to the London Observatory.

She doesn't even know why she thinks of him now, here in this other life. When she has a new love sleeping upstairs and she has no need for extra ghosts haunting her.

A new love.

Love.

For a minute or so, the screeching and the voices go quiet.

She sneaks upstairs as she usually does these days and observes him sleeping.

On this stomach, his limbs sprawled across the bed.

It aches that she's doing to this to him.

  
*

_"She doesn't eat, I'm sure she doesn't really sleep and I don't know, guys. I really don't know."_

He had to get out of the house because he couldn't bear it anymore.

She'd slept until noon, occasionally moaning or breathlessly staring into thin air.

He'd left her with Kumu who has by now also exhausted her comfort cooking options because the plates still remain untouched.

Rick and TC stare at him across the table, the sun bouncing off the beer bottles between them.

The suggestions of a doctor and medication are quickly shot down because he knows she won't agree to it.

It's something else that he can not define but that only he can fix.

*

When he gets back, he finds her again on the deck staring up at the sky.

_"How about we go for a ride?"_

*

It takes him a while to master the old Chevy convertible, the one at the back of the car park which Robin has forgotten about.

She likes the Ferraris but she's often complained that the Chevy goes unused and unloved.

He watches as the wind plays in her hair and he sees her features relax a little.

_"Music"_

He finds an oldies station and it dances through the air as they drive. He doesn't have a destination in mind, but he just wanted her out of the house for a start.

It was Ricks idea to take her somewhere else, maybe someplace she's not constantly reminded of an unnoticed intruder.

*

It's a plain diner, with plastic menus and waitresses with scratches on their souls and pots of unlimited coffee.

She sits across from him, as though wondering how she got her in the first place.

He orders a two plates of steak and mashed potatoes and asks the waitress if they have peas lying around.

_"Will you eat for me?"_

He watches as she picks up her fork and let's it hover in mid air before taking a bite of her potatoes.

_"Again."_

It's not a question this time, and she obeys without hesitation.

_"Again."_

He keeps repeating the word until the potatoes are gone, and then the peas.

She refuses the steak but he's thankful for a small victory at least.

*

The motel room is small and she lays awake watching the light of passing cars on the ceiling.

She's not sure why he brought her here, but she feels strangely at ease.

The alarm clock tells her it's 1 am and he's breathing softly beside her.

She's managed to keep out the noises and the voices for a few hours, but she knows they won't stay gone.

Just at that moment, they begin blaring again as though they're standing right beside the bed.

Her stomach contorts and she can't even turn on the bathroom light before reaching the toilet bowl.

*

He hears her retching and he's never been out of bed so fast.

She sits beside the toilet, wearing only her underwear.

She huddles against him and he rocks her as she cries.

They lose sense of time, but by the time he carries her out of the bathroom the early morning sun is rising.

He lays her down on the scratchy sheets and he thinks her face looks a little fuller.

Tear streaked and exhausted but not quite so pale as it was.

_"I...I'm so tired, Thomas."_

_"I know, go to sleep. I think you're ready now."_

*

He holds her as she sleeps, and he thinks she actually does now.

On the drive home, he plays the 80's station and listens as she softly hums along.

He hopes that even though it's a baby step, it's something they can leave behind them now.


	15. The Check Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have seen everything there is to see about each other, so this should not be difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so sexy times. Nothing graphic but be warned in any case.

They still haven’t had sex.

They stood in the shower together, and they have seen everything there is to see about the other so this should not phase them. Yet it does.

Mostly because fate really enjoys intervening whenever they make an attempt.

She mulls this over while watching his sleeping form in the early morning light.

He sleeps like a starfish, on his stomach with his long limbs spread out. Sometimes, she’ll crawl under his arm so she’s safely wrapped in his embrace.   
  


He kisses her neck, right at her pulse point and she feels the temperature (hers, his, in the room) rising.   
  


She turns over so she’s flat on her back and pinned underneath him.

His kisses are hungry and she responds in equal measure. Neither of them hears the knocking.

”Morning lovebirds, just letting you know that your client is here. Again.”

She gazes over at the alarm clock and realizes that they sure slept for longer then they should have.

They watch each other get dressed and she makes sure he gets a good view while she closes up her bra and slides a blouse over her head.

* 

The mission is simple. Or it usually starts out that way.

An ornithologist is concerned for his associate, who went into the jungle to find a specific indigenous bird but hasn’t returned as they agreed.

Armed with a map of the projected route, and a pop out tent they head out into the dense woodland. She never stops marvelling at the beauty of the wildlife here. She’s never seen trees this high or waterfalls so loud. They watch the water foaming as they eat lunch.

In the distance they see dark clouds forming but he assures her it won’t rain for hours yet.

He is wrong.

Barely 20 minutes later they are soaked to the bone and the path has turned into a treacherous mud pit.

They try to continue but the mud is making every step difficult and they both slip several times before admitting defeat.

He puts up the tent and they sit side by side waiting out the rain.

“Tell me something, anything.”

He looks at her expectantly and she wonders if what exactly he wants her to say.

That her demons stayed away after their motel stay? That his whispering woke them?

She decides she wants to forget about those godawful two weeks. 

“You sleep like a starfish.”

He looks at her, trying to gauge if that’s a positive or negative trait.

She smiles and puts his arm around her, shielding her from the the unrelenting rain which is now seeping into their tent making sheltering a futile excersize.

*

“So did you find the birdma ... my God look at the state of you two.”

Kumu is used to a lot. Bruises, knife wounds, gunshot wounds. The occasional broken bone.

But Thomas and Juliet standing in the kitchen, covered in mud from head to toe is a new one. Even Juliet, usually so prim and clean has dirty smudges across her face and in her hair. The smell is lingering in the kitchen, even outweighing the smell of the grilled cheese sandwiches they’re attempting to make.

They tell her dejectedly that yes, they did find the ornithologist. And that he was very upset at his peace being disturbed by two filthy mud spatterred private detectives. Apparently, the rare bird he sought had disappeared the second they showed up. Not to seen again in the next decade or more.

So they decided to leave him be, and inform the client that his associate was alive and well and how to find him if necessary.

They trudged back to civilisation, trying to keep eachother upright on the slippery path.

She can not stand the sight or the smell anymore so she sends them upstairs for a very thorough shower before she’ll allow them back in the kitchen.

She also shouts a stark reminder at them to check eachother over for tick and bug bites afterwards.

*

They take turns showering before giving eachother the mandatory check up.

She’s feeling pretty self conscious, standing in front of the mirror wearing only a towel.

His fingers are cool against her spine as they search for bites or injuries.

She knows there is nothing there but she loves indulging in this strange foreplay.

*

He searches her spine and only finds a thin tan line from where her bikini top stuck to her skin.

The ribbons are etched into her back and he follows the curls and the loop like it was drawn on there just for him.

When he’s sure she wasn’t bitten he turns her around and she drops the towel.

”Your turn.”

*

He’s often imagined all the scenarios in which they would end up like this.

Laying on his stomach (like the starfish he apparently is) being checked by his very naked wife was not one of them.   
  


“Turn around.”   
  


She straddles him and he positions them so they’re facing eachother.

”Say you want this, Jules.”

”I.Want.This.Want You.”

He flips them over so she’s again underneath him, her eyes dark and needing.

*

It’s been too long overdue for both of them.

They take their time figuring eachother out, and who gets to set the pace when.

He collapses next to her and listens to her breathing evening out.

”You know what the big advantage to being a starfish sleeper is?”

”What’s that?”

He pulls her close so his arm covers most of her upper body.

”Lots of arms to hold you close.”

She laughs and buries her nose in his neck.

*

Just when she’s doing some naughty thing with her fingers traveling down his stomach, he hears footsteps on the landing and the sound of a plate being put down.

She groans as he gets up to retrieve the food, and watches his awkward gait as he walks towards the door.

”Are you limping?”

He looks down and then he notices that his ankle is indeed swollen and that there’s a latent pain shooting through it as he heads back towards the bed.

*

Kumu finds them in the den, clean and glowing.

He is resting with his head in her lap occasionally saying something to make her laugh.

Then she notices the ice pack on his foot.

Juliet motions her to not ask, when he cheerily tells her that they’re both bug free at last.

She leaves them in their bliss and she feels the house spirits agreeing with this situation.

All but one of them.

And she tries not to take too much heed just yet.


	16. The Childhood Tale (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a first date goes wrong, it wakes something in her.

Juliet Higgins is a composed person.

On the outside, anyway.

Right now, seething in her office she feels anything but.

She stares at the tickets for the art gallery and at the clock like either would remedy the feeling of being abandoned.

_Eight year old Juliet Higgins stands at the school gates._

_It’s December and school ended an hour ago._

_The sky is a yellowish grey, indicating snow is coming._

_Her mother, however, is not._

_She sits on the bench and waits and waits._

He’s the one who bought the tickets, who asked her out randomly after an afternoon make out session.

It’s not even the sort of art she cares for, but she appreciates the effort and she really wanted to go out with her husband for the first time since their wedding.  
  


_Night is falling and so are the first snowflakes._

_Everything had seemed fine this morning._

_Her mother had even been up and happy, talking about going away for the weekend._

_She hadn’t been drinking from brown or green bottles so Juliet assumed this was a good day._

_Until now, that is._

  
She listens for the sound of the Ferrari in the driveway.

_As the hours pass, she takes note of every car turning the corner._

_It’s never the sound of her mothers car and she’s so ridiculously cold._

_The snow is seeping through her tights and school coat._

It’s after midnight when she hears the gate open.

She’s still seething and angry. Angrier then she should reasonably be.

She hears his footsteps approaching the office.

_It’s past seven pm when a police car stops in front of the bench._

_After much prying, she tells them her address with tears of relief streaming down her face._

_Her mother doesn’t even open up on the first ring of the doorbell._

He’s very drunk, she can tell by his happier then usual talk.

From what she understands, he’d stopped by La Mariana for a quick drink with an old army buddy of his. One drink became two and then three. She stands there disbelievingly clutching the tickets and throws them in his face before storming off.

_”Helly, what is this?”_

_Even at age eight, Juliet cringes at the nonsensical nickname her mother has been using._

_Her older sister who died before she was born and whose first name is her middle, like a ghost she competes with for her mothers affection._

_Her mother stands in the doorway, clutching a brown bottle not understanding why her daughter is being flanked by two policemen.  
  
_

_They talk back and forth and neither party is letting her in the house._

He finds her on the beach looking out at the waves.

They sit in silence for a while before he speaks.

”I’m sorry Jules. I really am. I didn’t mean to forget.”

He shows her one of the crumpled tickets as though it’s a peace offering.

_The policemen finally leave and her mother pulls her into the house._

_”What were you thinking, Helly? Running out like that. What will the neighbours say that the police brought you home?”_

_She stands shivering in the cold kitchen which her mother forgot to heat, her tights itchy and her hands numb. She doesn’t honestly care what Mrs. Parkin will think, nasty old bat that she is. She’d probably side with her mother anyway._

_Her mother wanders off, forgetting to scold her further and disappearing into the dark hallway._

_It wasn’t a good day after all._

They lay in the sand, and then she realizes she’s still wearing her date night dress. She absentmindedly fumbles the ribbon to distract herself.

The Big Dipper shines bright above them and she takes his hand and traces the pattern for him in mid air.

He kisses her cheek and holds her close and she feels her anger dissolve.

She does make him clean out the pool for a month afterwards though.

_Later, when she’s taken herself to bed she hears her mother opening the bedroom door._

_”I’m sorry, Juliet. Mummy didn’t mean to forget.”_

_Deep down she knows this, that it’s the brown and green bottles and the medicine. But the feeling of being forgotten burrows itself deep inside her and never lets go.  
  
_

When he’s done his penance, he does make up for their lost date.

He takes her for dinner and dancing and a night in the Hidden Room.  
  


_“What is this, Helly?”_

What is this, indeed.

She’s long passed being Helly or that abandoned little girl, but the fear always lingers and she doesn’t know why. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little Tuesday interlude. You can tell me if it’s terrible or not. I just wanted to do a childhood memory for some reason.


	17. The Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Ohana love. Or a little interlude.

_A surfing lesson shouldn't be this raucous, but it is._

_Kumu sits in her lounge chair watching as Juliet lay flat on her stomach and her boys are encouraging her to jump up, fast as she can._

_She hasn't a previous interest in surfing because she didn't fancy drowning (in Juliet speak), but it's her big birthday gift that the guys concocted for her. They bought her a teal wetsuit and a second hand surf board decorated with big blue flowers and ever since, it's been the best thing ever._

_It's basic practice, since there isn't much surf on the little private beach._

_She watches as they teach her the technique and how to hold her arms and hold her balance._

_They cheer when she can do it in ten seconds flat._

_Their phones are grouped on a side table and they buzz or light up occasionally._

_They've moved to the water now, and she's standing up on her surfboard._

_Thomas stands in front of her and holds her hands steady while Rick and TC tell them to pay attention._

_It's a sunny Saturday afternoon and their laughter and voices bounce around the beach and through the air._

_She listens to the wind and the spirits and for once, things are well._

_They're taking a break and they lay side by side on their boards, paying her no attention._

_They don't feel the wind turning. A sudden chill in the air._

_One of the phones rings, and she can briefly tell it says "OAHU NAVAL BASE" before the ringing stops._

_Thomas is still pre occupied with his wife and how to position herself for an oncoming wave but she's having none of it._

_She takes a smooth dive over his head and he watches in awe as the water isn't so much as disturbed._

_Later, when he checks his phone and disappears for a while nobody seems to question it._

_But she can tell by the look in Juliets eyes that this might be the last happy afternoon they'll have in a while._


	18. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which he goes somewhere she's not allowed to follow.

He hadn't wanted to talk about it in front of the others, and he hadn't wanted to talk afterwards.

It was her impromptu birthday party after all and he didn't have the right to ruin it.

Let her first birthday as a married woman have been a happy one.

But he knows she knows something is up.

He buttons up his Navy whites and catches her reflection behind him.

_"How do I look?"_

She's crept up behind him and her palms smooth the already pristine fabric.

_"Handsome."_

He turns them around so they're facing the mirror and she smiles up at him.

_"I am, aren't I?"_

*

She watches as the Ferrari leaves The Nest and until it's rounded the corner.

Kumu stands beside her and squeezes her arm in consolation.

*

The mission sounds simple enough for a trained Navy SEAL.

Retrieve the asset from a small POW camp outside Kabul.

A badly guarded prison with guards willing to be bribed and/or killed easily.

But it's Afghanistan and the thought of going back both thrills and terrifies him.

He looks down at his wedding ring and replays the previous Saturday in his head.

The guys teaching Juliet to surf, her paint spattered bikini showing through her wetsuit.

The way her body felt so solid against his in the water.

Laughter and the smell of barbecue and the taste of baked pineapple in her kiss.

But the other part, the soldier part is strangely excited for the desert air and the adventure.

They war inside him and he doesn't think either side is in the wrong.

*

He's still not saying much when he gets back.

She's made him lunch and she’s put on her favourite dress without really knowing why.

Not like she'll be able to convince him to stay.

Because the soldier in him, the one with the dark edge and the need to fight will not let him stay. And the soldier in him doesn't take orders from her.

He changes out of his uniform and pulls her into his lap and kisses her neck and fumbles with the ribbon on her dress.

It falls to the ground and is forgotten as they stumble towards the nearest flat surface.

They don't even make it that far and he takes her against the kitchen counter instead.

It’s heady and thrilling and she doesn’t want him to stop.

She leaves her mark on him because she can’t think of anything else she could possibly send him away with.   
  


*

He watches her stand by the window wearing only lacy panties and a thin striped blouse.

The one that always looks rumpled but he loves it when the wind blows under it and exposes her taut stomach.

_"When?"_

He runs his fingers over her abdomen and watches as she straddles him.

 _"Tonight. Midnight_."

She kisses him deeply and he loses himself in her.

He's never had this with any other woman. Not even with Hannah and he thinks he should have known that sooner.

_"Come back to me."_

It's not a promise or an oath, but it energises him enough that he doesn't think of what's coming as a suicide mission.

*

Midnight comes and a black car pulls up at the gate.

For the second time today she watches him leave and she feels something in her soul breaking.

The house is quiet and the bed has already gone cold. 

She's not religious but she mentally begs someone up there to bring him back safely.

They have to.

*

Afghanistan is still the way he left it.

Dusty and hot and endlessly barren desert landscapes

He walks around the market stalls before meeting with his informant.

They will meet, transport will be arranged. The road outside the city will be long and treacherous and scattered with leftover military car parts.

He looks at the wares being sold, fabric and jewellery and fake cell phones.

_"Come back to me."_

He thinks he sees her a few feet in front of him but he knows she's not real.

She's relatively safe back home, she has her dogs and Kumu and the guys to look out for her if needed.

She has a PI agency and an estate to run and he'll be back before she even realises he went anywhere.

But she also has her ghosts and her nightmares and those are the things he worries about.

One of the stands sells pretty trinkets and he thinks she would love that one gold necklace with the little emerald encrusted starfish.

He makes a mental promise (to himself, to her) to pick it up on the way home.

His informant beckons from an alley and he looks back at the necklace until it disappears from sight.

*

One day becomes two and then three and she gets used to his absence during the day. Tells herself he’s out on the water or driving around the island and he’ll walk through the door when the sun goes down.

She only picked up her phone to call him four times today, as Kumu helpfully reminded her.

The nights are harder, though.

She's gotten so used to his body in starfish mode next to her that the emptiness sometimes startles her. 

*

He doesn't expect to be taken on a bender before the actual mission starts.

But Afghani nights are long and warm and his informant would prefer a last hurrah before potentially getting himself killed.

They trail the back alleys of the cities, where they drink hot tea and watch women belly dance and sometimes offer more then that.

He refuses their advances and pleading brown eyes and is happy to indulge in this strange freedom for a little while.

Because he knows damn well that all the good needs to balance out with the bad.

And there's plenty of that awaiting him tomorrow.


	19. The Word

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which she adapts to a life without him in it.

_A month passes and there's still no word from him._

_Not even her old MI6 contacts have been able to pry anything useful out of their American cohorts._

_She expedites the detective field work to Rick, TC and Shammy for the most part._

_She hires Ricks girlfriend Suzy to help with the administrative work for the estate and turns the PI business into a smooth rolling company._

_But the nights are still long and lonely._

_She dreams of him, standing in the living room one morning or next to her in bed._

_Sometimes the screeching voices return as she finds him dead on the lawn outside._

_"Pe'a"_

_She can hear his voice saying that word over and over again._

_She focuses on it and the screeching fades._

_A new day has come and it takes her an hour to get focused enough to actually start it._

_*_

_"Pe'a"_

_She feels like she underwater and that's the only thing she can make out._

_That and fingers snapping in front of her face._

_"You all right?"_

_She looks up into Suzy's concerned face and the smell of paint and turpentine invades her senses._

_Shrugging it off she continues her accountancy file and Suzy wearily returns to her desk._

_"How about a break?"_

_She looks at the clock and realises it's past noon and they've been in here since 9 am._

_They sit down on the patio to eat lunch and Suzy gushes over Rick and how he gave her a wall at La Mariana the other day._

_Just a white painted wall and a passing remark to go town on it._

_She pulls out a sharpie out of nowhere and starts sketching on her arm._

_Juliet watches her in astonishment as she draws a smooth turtle across her own upper arm._

_Without thinking she offers her own arm as though someone else is guiding her._

_They don't even need to talk as the pen is drawn across her wrist._

_When she finishes she feels like waking from a dream._

_Bizarrely, so does Suzy._

_She says she not very good at drawing stars so she stares astonished at her own work._

_"Pe'a"_

_It's a starfish embossed with a flower and the word written alongside one of the arms._

*

_She can't stop staring at it._

_Late that night, she dreams of him._

_Not dead, not really alive._

_He grabs her arm and looks at the drawing._

_"She did a good job. Keep it."_

_And just like that, he fades before her eyes and she wakes to the darkness._

_The next morning, she finds a reputable tattoo artist to immortalise it on her skin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about you guys but I did like Suzy and hope to see her again in season 3. Rick deserves love too.
> 
> And I hope my google-fu found the right Hawaiian word for starfish. If I didn't get it right, feel free to let me know.


	20. The Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things aren’t going to plan and then they go wrong

The mission as it turns out, wasn’t quite so straight forward as his superiors had envisioned.

The asset is indeed not imprisoned where they thought he was. Apparently he’d made such noise that he was transferred to a more isolated camp deeper inland. A camp with guards not so willing to bribed. It took a month to find a new inside man and deem it safe enough to start the mission.

They’ve been driving for four hours at a snails pace and he can no longer feel his legs.

He misses his Ferraris and the open landscapes of Hawaii.

Misses her.

He knows he can’t contact her to not jeopardise things but still stings.

He dreamt of her last night. Saw her running on the beach with another blonde woman he doesn’t know but seems oddly familiar.

She stopped short and looked in his direction before her friend caught up and pulled her along.

He’d wanted to run after her but his legs seemed numb.

When he woke he instinctively reached over pull her close but found nothing but empty bedsheets.

The isolated camp is indeed ramshackle.

Just a group of stone buildings and barbed wire.

Guards shouting in Farsi.

Never changes.

They knock out two sentries and steal their clothes.

The jacket is too small and reeks of stale cigarettes and he worries it might be too visible if someone were to approach them. But they don’t. The ramshackle camp is actually a rabbit warren of hallways with only one throughway to the courtyard.

The only guard they encounter is deeply engrossed in his afternoon nap and would not hear a proverbial bomb go off.

Their asset as it turns out is not a fellow soldier or anyone he expected to find in a place like this. He is a odd looking man with a somewhat owlish face who looks at them like a child in a candy store.

He appears pleased that they deemed to show up as though it is the entire point of his imprisonment. And he’s loud. No matter how they try to sush him he keeps talking excitedly. Thomas thinks of the napping guard down the hall and if the sentries are still knocked out.

They gag him and drag him down the hall. If anyone asks, they’re taking him to be interrogated.   
  


And they pray they’ll be believed.

They make it a few yards out the front gate when they hear the alarms blaring.

They run, dragging the asset towards the concealed vehicle and toss him in the backseat.

The driver jumps on the gas and he can hear the gunfire in the distance

”Pe’a.”

The voice fades before he realises what he’s heard. He fires a few rounds in response making the driver push the gas pedal almost to the car floor.

The rear window shatters into a million tiny pieces and he feels them crunch under his knee.

They realise too late that speeding is bad everywhere but especially on these roads.

None of them noticed the ambush which sends the car spinning off a small cliff and land on its roof below.

When he briefly comes to, he sees the owlish man or what is left of him half in and out of the car. His eyes are open but unblinking. He has a bullet wound in his forehead.

The world spins and he can’t feel his legs and then everything goes dark.

*

Miles and miles away, Juliet stops running because she knows something is dreadfully wrong.

And her tattoo is tingling like crazy.

She looks up and for a brief second thinks he’s sitting on the entrance wall to the beach.

But he’s not and Suzy is dragging her along and she lets it go.

”Pe’a”

She knows something is wrong hours before the phone rings and they tell her the news.


	21. The Deed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which he floats in the inbetween, and choices must be made.

It takes a few days to get him airlifted out of Kabul to the military hospital in Virginia.

It's not what she imagined a military hospital to look like either.

Other then the military guards at the front entrance, everything else resembles a regular hospital.

She waits with Rick and TC for the ambulance to arrive from the airport and she's pretty sure she'll need a heart transplant after all this.

No one has really told her how bad it is, or tried to dance around how bad it is.

He is wheeled past them and into surgery and she catches a brief glimpse of his bruised face before he disappears behind the double doors.

The doctor is elderly and seems sort of weary of having to explain things to her.

She knows his car overturned on the way back from a retrieval mission and that it was found by a passing squadron. They'd been convinced there were no survivors until they'd heard him moan a short distance from the car.

He'd suffered a severe leg fracture, which they're trying to fix now and there is swelling on his spine which they hope is temporary. After surgery, they'll keep him sedated so his body can recover from the trauma and they'll see after that.

*

_He's not in Kabul anymore._

_He doesn't know where here is, but it's by the ocean._

_Somewhere a car door slams and footsteps are approaching._

_He sees his parents, the way they look in the sole wedding picture he has of them._

_They stand by the water and stare out over it._

_Waiting for him._

_*_

She sits by his bedside listening to the monitors beep.

Rick and TC have gone downstairs to find something to eat after taking turns sitting with him.

She looks at his sleeping face, which is apparently far less bruised then she thought.

His right eye is swollen shut and he has little cuts along his jawline from the glass he was found in.

Under the sheet, his leg is trapped in a construction of steel to keep it steady and to let the bone fuse together again.

He's very lucky to have survived, they told her.

*

Three days in, a military type appears in the doorway holding a small squirming bundle.

"Mrs.Magnum?"

Nobody ever calls her by her married name. Or nobody has in six months of marriage.

He introduces himself as Sergeant James and seems hesitant to enter the room further then the treshold.

Rick and TC jump up in an instinctive need to protect her should he choose to suddenly draw a gun apparently.

The squirming bundle appears to be a small cocker spaniel with floppy ears who is making small whining sounds.

"We uhm, found this in your husbands hotel room."

She is lost for words at this ridiculous situation, with Thomas heavily wounded and the young sergeant eager to hand over his charge to her.

She reaches out and the dog is warm against her chest and the monitors beep steadily.

*

_The image changes and all of the sudden he's standing on the corner of the street where he grew up._

_He sees the grass field where he learnt to play baseball and where a girl in his first grade class tried to kiss him once._

_Lydia, he thinks her name was. She was a spoilt brat and he never understood much about her._

_Somewhere in the distance a bell rings and he hears children yelling._

*

The dog is still nameless.

They sit around the hospital bed and it sleeps at Thomas' feet unaware of that fact.

Of course he'd take in a stray dog. 

She thinks of Zeus and Apollo back home and what they'll do with this little canine intruder.

Even when he sleeps, he still manages to complicate things.

*

_He watches himself and his childhood friends play baseball on the field._

_They pretend to be professional players and react to imaginary crowds._

_It's a warm afternoon and he remembers exactly what happens next._

_Somewhere the sound of an ambulance permeates the air, getting closer and closer._

_Six year old him freezes and runs home._

_As he passes, he flashes a gappy smile._

_"Strike One, man."_

_He watches him disappear down the street and worry settles in his chest._

*

One of the monitors starts beeping wildly and out of nowhere, the bed is surrounded by a flurry of nurses.

They push her out of the way and she presses Nameless Wonder (as they've temporary dubbed him) close to her.

*

_This time, he's standing in a cemetery._

_His six year old self is dressed up and huddles close to his mother._

_The priest blesses the casket as it is lowered in the ground._

_His father stands next to him and lays a hand on his shoulder._

_"You coming or going, buddy?"_

*

They've managed to stabilise his blood pressure but he's still being kept in a coma.

His eye is healing, the swelling has gone down and it's a few shades of purple and yellow now.

She's read every magazine, watched every mundane quiz show and everything is aching.

*

_He didn't get to go to his mothers funeral._

_So he watches from the back of the church as her life is celebrated and his aunts weep._

_She stands next to him and sighs._

_"It's your choice, Tommy. But I think you have a long life ahead of you and I don't think Juliet can do without you."_

_He wonders how she knows._

_"She's a good woman, Thomas, and you deserve one."_

_She vanishes and he's back on that beach from before._

_This time he sees her walking along the shoreline, her blonde hair illuminated by the sun._

_The cocker spaniel he brought back for her is running ahead of them._

_She brushes past and feels her fingers brushing his._

_"Come back to me."_

*

She's awoken by the fast beeping of the monitors and by Nameless barking to alert her further.

His eyes flutter and for the first time in three months she sees those gorgeous brown eyes looking at her.

She breathes a sigh of relief as they focus on what's going on around him.

He can't speak because there's a tube in his throat but she sees the corners of his mouth turn up.

Feels her kiss on his forehead and breathes a sigh of relief.

He can't feel his legs and he tries to lift up the sheet to see if they're still there.

*

The tube gets taken out and he's glad his voice is still working.

They fuss over him and he lets them for a change.

She's crawled into the hospital bed close to him, careful not to get him moving too much.

The cocker spaniel rests at their feet, snoring softly.

_"For you."_

She looks up at him as though she doesn't understand his reasoning.

_"I couldn't ..."_

He stops to find his breath.

_"Couldn't leave him behind. I have something else for you too."_

He reaches over for the nightstand and pulls a small box out of the drawer.

It's a beautiful gold ring, inlaid with emeralds in a starry shape.

"I never got you an engagement ring. And it looked wrong to only have you wearing a wedding ring."

He doesn't tell her that he never did find the stall selling the starfish trinket afterwards.

His informant referred him to a local jeweller who had never seen a starfish, or only understood the star part of it.

She sighs against his chest and scratches the dog behind the ears.

_"What did you name him?"_

_"Name him?"_

_"Yes, he needs to be called something."_

He wonders why they didn't think to name him while he was knocked out. Or why he didn't back in Afghanistan. He just called it buddy for the most part.

She thinks of Zeus and Apollo and all the names that fall in the same line.

_"Perseus, Theseus, Achilles ..."_

Apparently he hadn't thought in the same direction and he dismisses the first two immediately.

But he likes the sound of Achilles.

So Achilles it is.

_"Do you want to come live with us in Hawaii, Achilles?"_

The dog snorts and pushes his nose into Thomas' palm.

_"I think that's a yes."_

She snuggles against him and he thinks he should feel her weight against his leg but he doesn't.

He tries not to let her show how much that frightens him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thank you again for reading my non stellar writing and for your kind words.
> 
> They make pandemic life just a little bit more bearable :)
> 
> Also, dog naming is hard work. I was pondering Nemo or Charlie initially but then I started writing and listing Greek Mythology names and Achilles seemed like the ideal option.


	22. The Patient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s no good at this recovery business.
> 
> Edited because the ending didn’t work and re wrote it.

He gets to go home after three weeks.

Not happy about being wheelchair bound, but happy enough to leave his hospital bed.

Shammy picks them up since he has the better transport. He looks out the window at the palm trees and the beaches and rests his forehead against the window.

His right leg is still in a cast and his left is still numb.

The doctors believe it to be temporary and it will disappear along with the swelling in his spine.

They’re greeted by a decked out living room with balloons dancing above the dining room chairs.

One of them exclaims “IT’S A GIRL” in big pink letters and he looks over curiously at his wife who is rolling her eyes.

“Oh, please, Thomas. Jin probably didn’t look properly before thieving that one.”

“We’re having a welcome home party with stolen balloons?”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

She smiles at him and the world feels all right for a change.

*

He’s no good at recovering.

The doctor prescribed rest and physical therapy both of which start getting annoying after three days. Juliet arranged a nurse and Shammy arranged some minor adjustments to the house so he’d be able to move about more easily.

They’ve temporarily relocated to the ground floor guest house and it feels like punishment.

He can’t sleep on his stomach so he doesn’t sleep much at all.

His legs feel like anchors weighing him down.

Not even his wife, who is really pulling out all the stops can fix this.

He doesn’t fault her but the fussing also gets annoying fast.

Not that he can make her understand that so it turns into a fight.

They’ve not argued that much these past six months. Things just fell into place and there was no longer a need. He’s not even sure what this fight is about.

He tried to reach something but couldn’t and she reached it for him. And he told her no and she scowled and it escalated from there. So now she’s gone to spend the night in the main house and he is sulking here.

He rolls over to the side of the bed and after a few tries manages to hoist himself over. But then he’s still dressed and his phone is still on the kitchen island. And she’s not here.

*

This is stupid.

He’s no longer thousands of miles away, rather a few hundred yards and even though she’s angry with him, she misses him.

But she refuses to be the first one to give in.

*

She’s awoken by the sound of shuffling and Achilles barking at this sudden intrusion.

He’s sitting at the top of the stairs, panting.

She’s not even sure how he even got up here.

“Our bed, Jules. Want our bed.”

The excertion took so much out of him, she doesn’t have the heart to send him back. She fetches his wheelchair from the bottom of the stairs and helps him in it. Washes his face and hands him a toothbrush while he watches her intently.

“I’m sorry.”

“For?”

She looks at him expectingly and her fingers scratch his scalp.

“For the things I said when I was angry.”

He wasn’t, not really. Can never be angry with her.

But he was and is tired and frustrated at his circumstances and while that’s not on her, taking the task out of his hand made the pot boil over.

“S’All right. I shouldn’t have jumped to the rescue like that. Lesson learned.”

She smiles down at him and things suddenly feel much lighter.

He takes her wrist and runs his thumb over her tattoo.

“You told me to keep it.”

Pulls her down into his lap and places a kiss over it.

She wishes she could drag him to bed and it irritates her that she can’t right now.

She helps him into it, but his trek over here and the improvised stair scaling have exhausted his last bit of energy for the day. Achilles rests at his feet, apparently quite comforted that both his owners are right where they should be.   
  


“If I can’t be a starfish, what should I be?”

He always asks the strangest questions in the middle of the night. She can readily imagine him as a child, always stalling bed time with random inquiries about random things. And that it must have driven his mother crazy.

“A mummy, Thomas, pretend to be a mummy.”

She sits up and crosses his arms across his chest and arranges the sheets tightly around him so he can not budge an inch which lasts ten minutes before he breaks free and exclaims that mummies have no fun.   
  


“Need to feel you.”

She loosens the sheets and lays flat on her back with her fingers woven through his.

This appears to work better and they listen to the other breathe.

”Jules?”

”Yes?”

”Love you. A lot.”

He falls asleep shortly after that but the echo of his words made her so happy that she’s now the one not able to sleep.

“Love you too. So much.”

Places a kiss on his forehead and spends the rest of the night watching his sleeping face.

She doesn’t notice the fever creeping in and slowly grabbing a hold on him.


	23. The Kalapuna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which he has a fever dream.

For the millionth time in less then three months, she waits in a hard plastic chair in a hospital waiting room.

Stares at the bright coloured posters informing people of vaccinations and general hygiene.

She keeps playing the disaster movie that was this morning over and over in her head.

She'd fallen asleep around 3 am and was woken by his feverish shuddering and his incoherent babbling.

The ambulance lights bouncing off the walls of the main house.

The doctors are once again running tests to see what is causing his sudden turn.

*

_He is standing in the living room of the main house but it looks different somehow. There is no glass in the windows and doors where there should be. The curtains are torn._

_Juliet isn't here and something is shuffling around on the couch._

_"Nai'a, Ula, Kalapuna."_

_It's a little girl with dirty blonde hair and brown almond shaped eyes. She's looking through a picture book depicting sea creatures._

_The stolen balloon exclaiming "It's a girl" hangs from one of the dining room chairs and dances in the breeze._

_"There's a page missing."_

_She's looking at him curiously. She's not afraid, just curious._

_"I said, there's a page missing. Don't tell anyone, ok."_

*

The fluid in his spine is infected.

The doctors are doing a puncture in the hopes of removing it but it'll be a tricky procedure.

He had complained of a pressure there and she thought it was a good sign that it was receding.

Last night had been his first night where he actually seemed to be on the mend, but then he had to scale the stairs (she still has no idea how he did that)

And now she feels guilty that it might have triggered something irrepairable.

*

_"You want to see?"_

_Without hesitation she scoots close to him and puts his arm around her small shoulders._

_He knows someone else who enjoys doing that._

_The picture book is called Creatures Down Below which he finds an odd title for a picture book but then again, his own picture book days lay far behind him._

_He reads the names out loud to her, and she laughs when he mispronounces the Hawaiian word for sea horse wrong._

_"Nooooo, you say it like Mo-oh Lee-Oh, like Auntie Kumu says it"_

_She shakes her head ands turns the page, annoyed with his apparent reticence to being taught._

*

She watches from behind the glass as the needle is inserted into his spine.

The fluid is greenish and seeps into a bowl and the word feels like it's upside down.

*

_They rifle through the book five times, it seems she can never get enough of it._

_"There's a page missing."_

_She looks up at him with those familiar brown eyes and he wonders what he'll do if she starts crying._

_"How about we go find some of those creatures in your book?"_

_She sniffles and nods and hops off the couch._

*

His eyelids flutter but he doesn't wake.

_"Nai'a, Ula, Kalapuna."_

His fever hasn't gone down that much so he shudders and babbles and for the first time in a long time, she feels terrified for what is to come.

*

_They walk along the shoreline, her tiny hand in his._

_A seagull screeches overhead and the sunlight turns her brown eyes into a warm shade of amber._

_"Kalapuna"_

_He realises that he hasn't asked what she's called, and perhaps it's not for him to know yet._

_She points in the distance where the dolphins leap up._

_"Nai'a"_

_From somewhere, a beeping sound overtakes the surroundings and she runs._

_She's already waist deep in the water and while he was walking fine just now, his legs again feel heavy and keep him in place._

_"It's ok, don't come after me. It's too soon, daddy."_

_He keeps staring until he can only make out her little ponytail before she turns around one last time._

_"It's Holly, by the way."_

_Then she's gone and he's once again standing in the living room. The balloon still dances in the wind and the missing page is sitting between the oranges in the fruit bowl._

_It's a starfish with googly eyes and a sweet smile._

_"Pe'a"_

_*_

The living room and the balloon and the page disappear and then he's in a hospital bed and he only vaguely remembers almond shaped brown eyes and a tiny ponytail disappearing beneath the waves.

*

The fever dies down and he gets to go home after a few days.

She divides her time between work and his physical therapy which she feels works better if she's the one helping him.

They spend a lot of time in the pool excercising his legs, which he says feel less numb but he's still not able to feel much beyond when she applies heavier pressure to it.

His cast is gone and other leg still looks horrendous and has a large scar running along the upper half of his thigh.

One day, she leaves him sitting on a deck chair while she fetches something inside the house.

She hears him calling and her heart stops for two seconds.

Expects to find him collapsed next to where she last sat him down.

But he's standing.

He's wobbling on his legs but he's standing.

It lasts 20 seconds before he collapses back on the deck chair.

Overhead a seagull flies over and they watch as it disappears from view.

_"It's a Kalapuna, Jules."_

_"I know, a seagull."_

_"No, Kah-La-Pu-nah."_

_"All right, a Kah-Lah-Pu-nah."_

She draws out the vowels and smirks at him.

He looks into her eyes and the sunlight turns them into a dark shade of amber.

Inside, the almost withered balloon still hangs from a living room chair and he watches it through the window.

He thinks they should keep it and doesn't know why.

Foresight, perhaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to Google Fu
> 
> Nai'a - dolphin  
> Ula - whale  
> Kalapuna - seagull
> 
> You all know what the Hawaiian word for starfish is by now so that doesn't bear repeating.


	24. The Christmas Anecdotes (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they celebrate the holiday season in three parts.

  
1\. The Tree

They are rudely awoken by the sound of a delivery van with a loud engine stopping at the gate. She hurries to dressed, under an avalanche of swears and muttering about a delivery.

Robin apparently had a Christmas tree delivered ahead of his next visit or as they have come to call it, The Holiday Deluge. He has no less then eight parties planned, and she’s been run off her feet getting everything organized. He hasn’t seen much of her since there is always some guest or other to be confirmed, or food to bought or a present needed. Four of the parties are taking place here, and the others in restaurants or hotels across the island.

He hops over to his wheelchair and from the window he can tell it is indeed a majestic tree. 

  
It takes three groundsmen to get it into the house and into the proper designated space.

Rick is picking him up in an hour to take him to physio, and he loathes the idea of leaving her alone to decorate the thing.

“I think I will set it on fire afterwards.”

She looks over and he knows she’s imagining the bonfire already.

*

She can not remember the last time she had the entire house to herself.

Thomas is at physiotherapy, since she lacks the time and he offered to make himself scarce as to not get in the way.

She looks up at the tree, and it feels more like an insurmountable horror with every passing minute. Robin had a pricey interior decorator draw up a sketch of what the tree should look like and instructions in which attic corner she can find the decorations.

It still feels like a thankless chore to do on her own, so she calls Suzy and Kumu and promises them wine in exchange for their help.

*

The music greets him practically at the gate.

Thinking that something is wrong or she’s being held hostage he really can’t get inside fast enough.

Kumu greets him a little too happily and there are two blonde woodsprites trying to arrange the lights in the instructed manner. They bicker from their opposite sides of the tree and their giggling is audible above the music blasting out of the stereo.

They haven’t even noticed them coming home.

He wonders just how much wine goes into tree decorating but apparently a lot.

Drunk Juliet, however, is a delightfully affectionate creature.

He pulls her down into his lap and her kiss tastes of wine and sugar.

”Isn’t it pretty?”

It is indeed a gorgeous tree with snowy white and blue baubles, it’ll look even finer when lit up.

”You know what it’s missing?”

The giddiness makes place for slight panic as she checks their work over.

”The peak?”

”Well, I was going to say presents but that’s missing too.”

She laughs and fetches the box and she and Suzy admire the pretty crystal and how the light catches on it.   
  
Later, they sit in a semi circle waiting for him to turn on the lights. The room is warm and smells of pine and dust. The woodsprites have gone quieter, Juliet resting her head on his shoulder and he knows she’ll be asleep soon enough.

The lights turn on for half a minute before dying on them, causing small cries of desperation. Her anguish is palpable and he laughs into her hair.

They make Rick promise he’ll reach out to one of his contacts to find new lights, there is even talk of bribing a local mobster if necessary. Rick, nonsurplussed by their dramatics promises to see what he can do.   
  


Later, after Rick has convinced Suzy and Kumu to be taken home she dozes against him on the couch.   
  


“Think he’ll find new lights?”

He sighs and slips his hand under her shirt, his thumb grazing her hip.

”You are very drunk, Juliet Higgins, and I will so lord this over you, but yes, he will.”

”Promise?”

He’s pretty sure she can not hear his reply as she nods off, but he slipped Rick 20 dollars to go buy new lights at the local supermarket and for his troubles with the drunk woodsprites this evening.

Mobster connections indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this week I pondered the following:
> 
> What kind of drunk would Higgins be, how would snow work in Hawaii and if can you really fit seven people on a golf cart. (Answer: Yes)
> 
> See story for answers to the other two questions :)


	25. The Christmas Anecdotes (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the weather is weird.

Somewhere inbetween Christmas parties he’s awoken by a chill on his bare skin.

Not that mornings are always blazing hot in Hawaii but this is different.

There is a white edge at their window. Thinking he might still be dreaming he pinches himself and sits up to watch white flakes fall down.

He knows that mountains here get snow, but the mainland does not. Ever.

“Is that ...”

“Snow, yes.”

*

They come downstairs to find a white carpeted lawn outside.

It glistens in the light and he sticks out his tongue to catch a flake and make sure it’s real.

They make quite a sight, in their thin sleepwear staring up at the sky in awe.

Her cheeks are red from the cold and her hair is still mussed from sleep and she huddles close to him for warmth. He can make out the shape of her body under her thin white nightgown and his fingers ache to touch her chilled skin.

*

Of all the things she’d imagined doing in Hawaii, having sex with her husband on the living room floor while the snow falls outside was never on the list.

She runs her finger along his earshell and he seems content to just let her for now.

The Christmas tree, now with its store bought lights looms over them casting a warm glow over their bodies.

“Marry me.”

“We are married.”

“For love, Jules. Marry me for love.”

He turns over and she’s never seen him looking more earnest.

She thinks for a minute before pulling him up in a sitting position.

“Ask me properly.”

“Juliet Higgins, will you marry ...

Neither of them noticed Robin arriving who is finding this spectacle very amusing.

“... me”

Ignoring their audience she nods yes and kisses him full on the mouth.

*

Later that night, after dinner with Robin and an insane amount of additional party planning added to their schedule they fall into bed. The world is quiet and there’s fresh snow outside.

In Hawaii.

“Crazy, huh.”

Thinking she means the snow he glances over at the window.

“When Robin first told me you were coming, he said I only had to show you the guesthouse and we’d never have to cross paths otherwise. He never said anything about marrying you.”

This amuses him as he still does not know much about her life before he barged into it.

She muses over this and cuddles close to him.

“But I’m awfully enjoying being your wife so I will be glad to renew our vows.”

She states it as matter of fact and he laughs.

“I’m glad you are. And you will.”

* 

The snow is gone by the next morning.

Kumu talks about distracted mountain gods and TC blames global warming. Whatever the cause, Juliet Higgins can at least say she was proposed to in the snow.

In Hawaii.


	26. The Christmas Anecdotes (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they celebrate the holidays.

Juliet regards the party the same way a painter admires a fresh masterpiece.

Guests are milling about on the lawn, the band plays cheesy Christmas songs and the smell of mulled wine hangs in the air. It took all her time and energy, but she’s managed to organise all four of Robin’s home parties without much incident. Even though he was bummed that the freak snowfall only lasted a day, it was a huge weight off her shoulders to not have to seek out snow related party entertainment.

Robin himself is being his enthused hosting self, surrounded by Hawaii’s rich and famous clamoring for his attention.

Everyone brought presents which are displayed on a trestle table on the porch. She’s pretty sure that none of it is cheap and that Robin will leave three quarters of them behind when he leaves again. She counts the wine and whiskey bottles and loses count quickly. At least the wine cellar will be well stocked for the coming year.

She notices a large IKEA style box in the corner, and she skims her fingers over it.

It’s not wrapped, but it does have a fancy tag attached from a high brow New York publisher.

_”To always inspire you.”_   
  


Something about those words gets to her and she doesn’t know why.

Robin calls her over and while she is introduced to his supposedly famous friends, she realizes that she hasn’t seen or heard her husband or her Ohana for a while. Which, like with children or animals, means trouble is afoot.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rick beckoning her from the side of the house. Zeus and Apollo stand beside him, imploring her to please come now.

She follows and finds her Ohana standing on the other side of the house, her husband in his wheelchair beaming at her. Still not sure what’s going on, she glances at their hopeful faces which appear to burst with excitement.

Rick makes her stand still a few feet away and tells her to watch.

” _Ready_?”

Just when she thinks they might burst into song, Rick and TC grab Thomas under his arms until he has a firm grip on the armrests of the wheelchair. He stands up for about half a minute, until he’s balanced enough. He moves his right foot and then his left until he’s taken a full step. Rick and TC hover but his feet are moving slowly but surely towards her.

Perhaps it’s the alcohol or the exhaustion from these past few weeks but she feels the tears streaming down her face. She’s been so worried about his legs and how there appeared to be little change in his condition. But he’s walking now. Actually coming towards her unsupported.

When he’s close enough he reaches for her and his arms snake around her waist. He wipes her tears away and she rests her forehead against his shoulder.

”Merry Christmas, babe, hope you like your present.”

She’s so overwhelmed with emotion it takes her a while to regain her composure enough to function again. He still has his arm around her as they walk back to the party. He is doing surprisingly well, he has even picked up speed a little.

Nobody really noticed her absence, and the band has gone into playing upbeat style tunes in the hopes of getting people dancing.   
  


He pulls her close and they sway to the music and she still can not believe this is real.

 _”We don’t dance enough, you and me_.”

She looks up at him and thinks of his proposal from a few days ago.

_”Well, if we marry for love I think we should fix that.”_

She kisses him and the watching crowd looks on approvingly.

*

Robin leaves for his New York estate the next morning, no doubt continuing his party streak over there. He does indeed leave a lot of his presents behind, including the big flatpack from the publishing house.

The tag still fascinates her though there is nothing else attached to it. No note, no clue as to what it is exactly. She has to call Robin on his plane to find out.

 _”Why, it’s a daybed of course. There should be instructions included. Put it up on the porch, it should fit_.”

He disconnects the call and she still has no idea what a daybed is or why anyone would consider it a good if exorbitant gift. Turns out, it is a bed for outside use. By the pool or on the lawn or on the porch. No matter how excited Thomas appears to be about it, she refuses to see the use of it. Not like they already have a poolhouse overflowing with loungers and chairs and assorted outside furniture.

_“To always inspire you.”_

She wonders if the PR person at the publishing house knows that Robin is only occasionally here, and if he is rarely gets inspired by furniture. Women, soldiers, fast cars, yes. Beds, not so much.  
  
They have it set up in a corner of the porch, and on New Year’s Day they nurse their hangovers on it while watching the dogs play on the lawn. Achilles, even though he’s half the size of his big brothers, he easily matches them in strength and tenacity. He is a dog of war, after all. 

She reads while her husband dozes next to her and Achilles has his head in her lap and the big dogs snore and the birds chirp in the trees.

It should always be this peaceful.

But something deep inside her says it won’t last and she really should enjoy these moments as they pass. She tries, but the feeling burrows itself deep inside her and won’t be settled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going on a break to concentrate on my own festive season, back in January. Or to fix the second part.


	27. The Butterfly Effect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things are foretold.

Kumu lives for these moments.

Moments where an Ohana is together and things are well.

She watches Juliet and Suzy run for the water, their sarongs fluttering behind them like butterfly wings.

Their husbands look on admiringly as they shed the pieces of cloth halfway and then go after them.

She wishes she still had the looks and the youth to join them in their play.

In moments like this, she feels old. And strangely contented perhaps. 

She ran like that once, long ago.

She can still her husbands bellowing voice chiding her to be careful.

Thomas and Rick do no such thing.

Instead they chase after them and pick up the sarongs and use them to play a game of tag.

Thomas has captured Juliet and wraps them both up as she smiles into his kiss. They look so very happy. 

Then she feels the rumbling.

Low soft rumbling under her feet.

In the distance, a volcano looms but it appears to be quiet. There is no steam or glowing lava indicating a nearing eruption.

The rumbling stops as sudden as it began and the couples make their way back to her.

They appear to have noticed nothing, except Juliet who looks somewhat perturbed.

She stands still and looks at the sand under her feet until someone calls her name.

She sits in her husbands lap and they eat sandwiches and she still looks weary.

When Kumu tries to approach the subject later, she dismisses it out of hand.

She listens for the spirits, who tell her that rumbling is an omen.

A rift is coming.

* * *

Later, she finds Juliet out on the lanai staring out over the yard.

"What does it mean?" she asks apprehensively. She hugs her knees to her chest, looking very frail all of the sudden.

Kumu wishes she knew more then what she does, that she could lay out the story just as it will happen.

But instead she sits down next to her and pulls her into a hug.

"That things will change, for better or worse, I don't know. But what I do know is that you'll need to be brave. Very brave."

Juliet nods, only half soothed by this advice, and she can tell as she walks away that her shoulders are hunched as though a heavy weight has been added.

"Just promise me you'll be brave, Juliet. It will be so needed."


	28. The Poolside Case (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which stuff happens by the poolside

“You feeling all right?” he asks her over dinner. She’s seemed out of sorts lately, and now she’s absent mindedly picking at her pasta dish. She gives him that half smile that is supposed to assure him that nothing serious is wrong, but that something is bothering her.

They carry their plates to the sink afterwards and out of nowhere she snakes her arms around his waist. Her arms are still covered in soap suds and he can feel the coolness of her skin through his shirt.

”You are the best husband, you know that.”

Still not sure what caused this sudden affection, he holds her close and softly rocks her against his chest.

*

The rumbling sensation has come back only once since that day at the beach. She dreamt of her and Thomas and a little girl on the beach. Thomas and the child were running ahead of her, towards the waves. She’d watched them play and she thought she really liked this dream. Until she suddenly felt the earth move and all of the sudden they were on one side of a divide and her on the other. The little girl cried and tried to reach her and Thomas caught her just on the edge of the abyss. They kept calling her name as the distance grew until she could no longer hear them or make out their features.

She’d woken in a cold sweat.

Once and not since.

But the dream sticks in her mind.

*

The next morning, after their run, they find Kumu consoling a rather dowdy looking woman who has come to engage their services. Apparently, her beloved husband has been skipping family time too often lately and she suspects he has been lying. Her sobs grow louder and she uses up an entire box of tissues before she can get halfway through the story.   
  


When she mentions her husband’s name, she can feel Thomas trying not to break into laughter.

They arrange the practicalities while he and Kumu are trying hard to keep their composure and failing miserably. Luckily, their client seems oblivious to this as she signs the paperwork. Juliet glares at them as they scramble out of the room to be unprofessional somewhere else.

*

“So, let me get this straight. Frankie Pua’s wife hired you to investigate a possible affair?”

He can almost hear the glee in Rick’s voice over the phone.

”Yeah, and you’ll never guess where we’re staking out tomorrow.”

”Tell me it’s the dingiest, filthiest motel this island has to offer.”

”The Lido’”

”Classy, man. Real classy. Try not to overdress.”

*

The Lido is not quite the dump she expected it to be. It’s a small hotel, nothing compared to the luxurious hotels they sometimes do security jobs for, but it’s oriented at middle class families and spring breakers. Their room is tiny but clean and she still can not understand why Thomas has been sporting an amused grin on his face all morning.  
  


Then she notices the poolside from the balcony.

From up here, it looks more like a disorganized chicken coup.

Children are running and screaming while their parents lay around on deck chairs not paying attention to them. She watches a small boy slip and fall and someone yells at him to be more careful. No one comes to console him.

Thomas has come to stand behind her and has been regarding the melee with both horror and fascination.   
  


“Welcome to Hotel Lido, Jules. You can check out any time you like but the horror will never leave.” He watches as the little boy, now overcome from the shock scrambles back up and limps towards an unseen parent under a parasol.

“Just wait until you can experience the madness up close tomorrow morning.”

*

Turns out, the madness doesn’t restrict itself to the poolside.

The hotel restaurant is teeming with hungry guests, and even more screaming children.

She catches the little boy from before, propped inbetween his parents trying to stay awake.

He catches her gaze and she thinks he is smiling at her.

It takes half an hour for Thomas to practically negotiate a table with a harried waiter, and another for their drinks and appetizers to appear. She is starting to feel woozy herself, as the room is crowded and hot. Thomas reaches over and hands her a glass of wine.

”To our client, long may ...”

He stops himself, much to her annoyance. Like this is all a game where only he (and Kumu, and possibly Rick, judging by the animated phone call last night) know the rules. She glares at him and he chuckles.

”To you and me, Jules. To our life together.”

They clink and all of the sudden the room isn’t so crowded and noisy anymore.

*

He lay awake, listening to the distant thud of a nearby nightclub.

”Long may our client what, Thomas?” she asks.

Even though they long stopped bickering and arguing like they did when they first met, he still loves teasing her more then anything.   
  


“In the morning, babe, in the morning.”

*

The morning comes far sooner then she thought.

It’s 7 am and she finds him already dressed and rearing to go.

He rambles about meeting her for breakfast and the pool and a good spot. And then he’s gone and she’s left to fend for herself in the already bustling breakfast room. Every seat is taken, if not by a human, then by beach bags and pool toys.

“I got us the best spot in the house.”

Thomas smiles down at her and kisses her cheek, looking proud of himself.

”And ...”

“I talked to the receptionist, rather I dropped the name Frankie Pua and turns out, he checked in late last night.”

”And ...”

”He’s a regular, never surfaces until lunchtime so we have ALL morning to enjoy the pool. From the best spot in the house.”

He looks very proud of himself and she laughs.

”Breakfast first, soldier. Sentry duty later.”

*

The pool is actually doable in the early hours. 

They drink their take away coffee and watch an older guest do disciplined laps, steadily back and forth.

“You know that Hetty Pua neglected to give us a photograph of her dallying husband.”

”You’ll know, don’t worry.”

Somehow, that doesn’t re assure her much.

tbc ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I haven’t sent them on a case in a while. So that need rectifying.


	29. The Poolside Case (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they meet Frankie Pua.

It sounds like a beehive.

For a good hour or two, they had the poolside to themselves. They drank coffee and she’d lain against him, his fingers toying with the drawstring on her shorts. His thumb made circles around her navel and if the circumstances were different, she’d have dragged him back to the hotel room for a long, lazy afternoon in bed.

But they are still on the lookout for the infamous Frankie Pua, currently sleeping off something or other in one of the rooms. She wonders if his room is on the same floor.   
  


But right now, a horde of vacationing families are heading towards the pool area because the beach became too hot and unshaded. In under five minutes, they are literally racing towards the loungers and children are tossing themselves in the water. Two women are almost getting into a fist fight over an offense with an inflatable crocodile. She is absolutely mesmerized by these events. He laughs in her ear and asks her if she wants to go for a swim.   
  


She shudders and wonders if that afternoon in the relative quiet of their room is still an option.

Her thoughts are interrupted when something cold lands inbetween them, and Thomas jumps at the sudden cold sensation. The ice cream cone fell cone side up straight on his thigh and it looks comically surreal. A little boy stands in front of them, visibly shaking with fear.

Thomas, now overcome carefully removes the offending item and declares it unsalvageable.

He moves towards the boy who is still cowering and then she realizes that this is the same boy who took a tumble here yesterday. His skinny knee is bruised and grazed and it breaks something in her.

”You what this is, Jules?”

”What’s that?”

”A very brave soldier. You know how I know? Because he went on a dangerous mission to the ice cream cart to buy chocolate ice cream, but sadly the mission went awry.”

The boy has stopped cowering and instead is intently listening.

”Awry, oh no.”

”So he has come to us for back up when he makes another attempt.”

“Back up, really?”

”For he can not finish the mission if he doesn’t retrieve chocolate ice cream.”

She laughs at his game and watches as he and the boy walk towards the ice cream van.

”What’s A-rye mean, Mister?”

She doesn’t catch his response but the fact that he just jumped into the moment is endearing.

The boy is named Danny, and he’s from Missouri.

He came here on an airplane and his mom drank too many bad smelling drinks and yelled at the stewardess. He likes Hawaii because it has a pool and palm trees.

The words come tumbling out in a flurry of sounds and he doesn’t notice the scrawny figure coming the other way. They bump shoulders and he hears Frankie Pua mutter an insult under his breath.

After he drops Danny and his ice cream off with a snoring woman sleeping under a parasol, he searches for their target. Frankie is currently wooing a woman in an ill fitting bikini, which she appears to be glad to suffer.

Juliet hasn’t noticed and she is clearly on the lookout for the wrong person.

She doesn’t know what she expected Frankie Pua to look like, but not like a pasty accountant.

Thomas has to point him out twice before she believes him.

”Jules, meet Frankie Pua. Boring old accountant by day, Hawaii’s very own Casanova by night.”   
  


Still not believing him, she urges him to continue.

”He is basically a walking pox on relationships if he sets his sight on someone. You remember Hetty saying he’d been robbed at knifepoint twice and how it couldn’t happen to a purer soul? Well, it was at knifepoint but it wasn’t a robbery. More like a vengeful spouse. Or a disgruntled low ranking mobster.”

She notices two red blots on his upper chest and she’s still not sure what to make of this.

”He’s been doing this for years, so it’s bizarre that Hetty is only getting suspicious now. Those attacks made the Hawaii Star, Jules. They are pretty legendary.”

Right now, their legend is kneeling between the knees of an overtanned woman, clearly not caring about the children racing in the vicinity.

Thomas holds his phone up and urges her to pose, making sure he captures the proclivities in the background. He almost drops it when a scream emanates over the pool area. Their target is alerted and makes a run for it, knocking Danny in the pool in the process.

He landed in the deep end and struggles to keep afloat, his thin arms beating at the water.

Thomas looks over at where his mother is, but only finds an empty lounger. Without hesitating, he dives into the pool and makes it over in three long strokes. Danny fights him and he finds it hard to keep his balance until he feels Juliet helping to prop him up.

Their arms form a raft and they bring him back to the side of the pool.

Danny is hysterically crying and clinging to her, and she can feel his heart beating rapidly against her chest.

The pool crowd gapes at them as the three of them collapse in a heap and then go back to their business once the show ends.

She really can not fathom how unbelievable these people are.

And right now, she could care less about the Puas or their really strange marriage.

All she cares about is keeping this child safe, no matter what.

tbc ...


	30. The Poolside Case (3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which one case leads them into other, unexpected circumstances.

“I thought you guys were shadowing Frankie Pua?”

Gordon looks over his shoulder at Juliet and Danny, busy with a game of snakes and ladders on the balcony. It’s 8 pm and Danny’s mother has yet to materialise to claim her son. Danny is little worse for wear after his near drowning, not really asking for her as though this is a common thing.   
  


Thomas schrugs and leans against the door. They kept Danny for the afternoon because Juliet adamantly refused to let him out of her sight. As the hours wore on and the pool slowly emptied they were starting to wonder what the time limit for child abandonment was. When the sun was starting to set, they moved to the lobby but to no avail. When the dark set in, they called Gordon.

Danny, still clad in his swim trunks and a spare shirt looks pale and drawn, despite Juliet doing her best to keep him entertained.   
  


“We’ll check the bars in the vicinity, but I think that kid needs feeding. Badly.”

*

For a seven year old, Danny is a voracious eater.

He scarfs down his second slice of pizza, and she wonders when he’d last eaten anything of substance. Gordon left a while ago, with a vague promise of checking nearby bars. She’s heard the word Child Services and it sent a shiver down her spine. Thomas is negotiating with the reception to see if they can get bumped up to a family room for tonight.   
  


Other then his name, his mothers name (Jeannette) and what she looks like, she hasn’t been able to pry much info out of him. He knows they’re staying on the floor with the number 5 and that that’s where his things are. She wonders if she should ask for a runner key so they can retrieve his pajamas and toiletries.

She wonders if his mother would mind.

*

The hotel room where Danny and his mother are staying is foul.

It smells like beer and cigarettes and there are packets of pills laying around.

In a corner he finds a cot, not really something a seven year old should be sleeping in which is strewn with clothes. He picks up a pair of pajamas and a tattered looking stuffed toy which he thinks was once a turtle.   
  


“Mr. Green!”

He hadn’t noticed Danny following him and nearly knocks him over.

He tugs at the stuffed animal and hugs it to his chest as though it’s his most prized possession.

There aren’t any other toys to be seen and something inside him smarts over that.

Later, when Danny is sleeping they lay awake listening to his soft breathing.

“I’m not abandoning him to Child Services.” She says out of nowhere.

He doesn’t respond, thinking that this is not how this weekend was supposed to go.

*

His mother still doesn’t show up the next morning, so they call Gordon again.

He walks into the lobby, eyeing Danny suspiciously.

”I think we need to talk. In private.”

*

This time, Thomas is left to watch Danny and they play foozball in a corner of the lobby while Juliet and Gordon talk.

He hands her a file with a school picture attached.

”Daniel Kay-Nesser, abducted from his kindergarten playground two years ago in Dalton, Missouri. Teacher called the kids inside and found him missing. CCTV showed his non custodial mother lurking around and luring him away while no one was looking. They found his coat and shoes on the bank of the river a few days later and it was presumed they, or he had drowned.”

She reads the report five times fast and looks at the photograph.

It’s definitely Danny, a little younger and with his baby teeth where he now has a gappy smile.

”His mother, Jeanette Nesser, has a long standing substance abuse problem and Danny was taken from her several times prior to his abduction. His father has custody, or had anyway.”

In the corner, Danny has scored and this is met with theatrical cries of defeat.

”He uhm, has been notified. He re married and lives in California. It’ll take a few days for him to recover from the shock and get over here. Social Services ...”

”No.”

Thomas, sensing her mood change from across the room has joined them, with Danny at his side.

”That’s me. When I was in Miss Rubio’s class.” he exclaims when he sees the picture. 

Gordon nods and tells them that the teacher who lost track of him is indeed named Elaine Rubio.

”Would it be ok if we take him back to Robin's Nest? Just until his father gets here?”

The words are out of his mouth before Juliet can make her infuriated case against letting him spend the next few days in a children’s home. Which she’s been adamant about, to the point where he didn’t dare go against her.   
  


Danny, now leaning against Juliet and sensing this is not a fun adult conversation looks at them with big frightened eyes.   
  


“I suppose.” Gordon looks back and forth at them. And to the scrawny boy sitting inbetween them.

Juliet breathes a sigh of relief and declares it’s her turn to beat him at the foozball table. The men regard her as they walk away and Gordon gives him a piercing stare.

”You can not keep him. Remember that, Magnum. I don’t want any trouble with the father nor Social Services, you hear. So no tricks.”

”I know that, Gordie. But it’s not me you should convince.”

*

After Gordon leaves, they take Danny for a walk in the park across the street.

They watch as he runs around the playground, looking carefree.

”It’s only a few days, Jules. We can handle that, no?”

She nods, worrying more about what will happen if his mother does show up again or if his father isn’t a nice man. He pulls her close and kisses the top of her head.

”She will be arrested the moment she walks through the hotel door. The father teaches third grade in a good school in Santa Barbara. He can not possibly be such an ogre.”

Danny has now moved on to the seesaw and he and another boy are bopping up and down.

”I know that, Thomas, but still. We’ll need things for him. Clothes and toys. He has nothing that fits properly.”

”Then we will buy him clothes and a box of Lego.”

She smirks at him and all of the sudden she feels a little scrawny body pressed into her side.

”Hey bud, want to go home with us?”

He looks up at Juliet and then at him.

”Do you have food?” It sounds hopeful, like he can’t imagine asking anything else.

”How does spaghetti sound? Thomas here makes the most divine spaghetti, like, the best in the whole world.”

”Yay, ‘ghetti, I love sp’ghetti so much.” He exclaims loudly as the three of them head for the exit.

tbc


	31. The Foster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they get a taste of parenting for a little while.

“Look, Thomas, that shirt has Spider-Man on it.” Danny’s excited cries can be heard straight across the children’s department. Not a place she’s ever had the pleasure of visiting, not even to buy a present for a friend’s child.

She wanders around the aisles, while the boys pick out underwear (which is apparently not a girl thing, as she was sternly told) and other small stuff. She’d warned Thomas to not overdo it, in line with the fact that this was only for a week or so. She can practically hear him disobeying her from where she’s standing.

She looks at the girl’s section, full of unicorns and princess emblazoned things.

The baby section is more of the same, until she notices a tiny gingham romper peeking out from inbetween two pink monstrosities. She holds it between her fingers and something deep inside her tells her to buy it.

It’s a set with matching white booties and a hair ribbon and she wonders if she can buy it without Thomas noticing.

*

When they return home, Kumu waits with baited breath for their Frankie Pua stories.

Instead, she gets a flurry tale about the little boy they brought with them and a missing child and their initial assignment is now appearing to be a distant memory.

*

Later, after Danny cleans off three plates of spaghetti and she reluctantly allowed him a glass of Coke with dinner, he and Thomas play Legos on the coffee table while she drinks her tea.

This is what it could be, a few years down the road.

It gives her so many warm fuzzies she thinks he might feel it from where she’s sitting.

*

He carries Danny up the stairs and into a room that once belonged to Robin’s son.   
  


“Thomas?”

Danny looks up at him with sleepy eyes, not quite ready to let go yet.

”Has my mommy come back yet?”

The question riles him a bit, and he looks back to Juliet for help.

When they left at noon, she still hadn’t shown. There had been sightings in local bars so she was definitely alive but always gone before the police could get to her.

”No, love. But our friend Gordon is looking for her.”

Danny clutches his tattered stuffed animal and holds it to his chest.

“S’ok, as long as she knows I’m here.”

With that, he gives in to sleep and the room goes silent.

Juliet turns off the nightlight and runs her hands through his unruly blonde hair.

*

The next morning, they find Gordon sitting at the breakfast table.

”Morning, Gordy, want cocoa pops?” Thomas rattles the cereal box in front of his face.   
  
“I see you’ve figured out the essence of parenting already, but no thanks. I have news about Jeannette Nesser.”

Before he can continue, they are interrupted by Juliet and Danny and the dogs coming down the stairs. It’s quite a sight to behold. Achilles races around the kitchen and annoys his big brothers until the patio door is opened and they’re let out.

Danny chases after them across the lawn and she chides him to not run too far.

When the noise dies down, Gordon’s face goes from endearing to serious and he continues.

”We tracked her to some hole in the wall on Maheli Road. She was intoxicated and is currently sleeping it off in a local police cell. They couldn’t make her understand that she was arrested for kidnapping yet, though.”

”And what now?”

”When she’s sober she’ll be transferred to central prison, and be extradited to Missouri after that.”

Gordon stares at Danny playing with the dogs and fiddles with the rim of his coffee cup.

”He should see her. Just so he’d understand.”

The thought fills Juliet with dread.

”Half an hour, no longer.”

It still feels like she’s about to throw him off a cliff.

”Oh, and another thing.” Gordon smirks as he throws a bundle of photographs on the table.

They are of Jeannette and Frankie Pua engaged in what looks like very adult business.

”For your other case. If this doesn’t sway her, not sure what will.”

*

The correctional building is the only building on the island which is not improved by the Hawaii sunshine.

It’s a gray block with not enough windows and too much weeds growing around it.

The inside isn’t much better.

Jeannette Nesser, still looking like she only left a dark nightclub moments ago waits in a room stuffed with toys looking unsure as to what she’s doing here.

She’s even more confused when Danny is let in and he excitedly shows her his new Spider-Man shirt. He babbles and she makes no effort to acknowledge him.   
  


Juliet and Thomas watch the exchange and he feels her shudder with dismay.

The social worker is talking into thin air about Missouri and how they won’t see eachother for a while. This apparently riles Jeannette enough that she finally appears to recognise her child and pulls him to her. Her speech is slurry, but she apparently feels she’s being done a great injustice. The longer she holds him, the more frightened he looks. Until one of the correctional officers cottons on to the fact that something is up. Jeannette is cuffed and dragged out and her screams echo down the hall.

Danny launches himself into Juliets arms, and Thomas puts his arms around them both.

*

When they return home (with a detour at McDonalds), they find Kumu waiting with a scrawny looking man with red rimmed eyes.

Marcus Kay is the adult equivalent of his son looks wise.

Danny glares at him from behind Juliets back.

He is a soft spoken man, who is not really comprehending this sudden life turnaround. After his son disappeared, he had all but given up on life. Even though he re married and built a new life it still felt empty.

”Hey, buddy, remember me”?  
  


Danny looks up at Thomas, as if waiting for permission to nod yes.

”Mommy said you’d had an accident and you were dead.”

He states it as matter of fact and his father visibly shudders.

‘Before he can reply, Juliet urges Danny to go find Achilles and see if he’s eaten all his kibble and fill his bowl if necessary.

Danny scampers off and his father sinks down on the couch.

”She alienated him from me. Thought she would. It was after all her life mission. All those times he came back from visits with filthy diapers and an empty stomach and I’m still the bad guy in his eyes. ”

”He’s seven, he hasn’t seen you in two years. Give him time to get used to you.”

Kumu holds his hands and this appears to soothe him.

”I, my new wife, we have a baby. Hannah. She’s six months old. I thought she was my new chance, you know. How am I going to do this?”  
  


Danny walks in, Achilles on his heels. He looks questioningly at his father and queries if he likes dogs. His father nods and this seems to set him at ease.   
  


“Want to go play fetch?”

Marcus, unsure as to the right response looks back and forth at his hosts as if he needs their permission.   
  


“I think Achilles' favorite ball is under the blue lounger, I’d use that one.”

Danny drags his father towards the patio and the room suddenly feels a lot lighter.

*

They let Marcus tuck his son in, and he joins them on the deck afterwards.

”She wasn’t a bad person when I met her, you know. Jeannette. Jeannie.”

Thomas hands him a beer and he fiddles with the label.

”I was eighteen and new to college life and she was the complete opposite. Took me a year before I dared to ask her out.”

Somewhere in the distance, some tree frogs make noise and he listens intently.

”We uhm, got pregnant after graduation and it just felt natural, you know. But Jeannie hated it. The pregnancy, the nausea, her body changing. She seemed happy enough the first few months but I could tell she wasn’t.”

”Her doctor gave her pills, and when those didn’t work, more and heavier ones. I can’t tell you how many times I came home to a cold house and Daniel screaming in his crib. She would be knocked out on the couch or not home at all and it was all up to me after a 10 hour workday.”

Juliet is listening with baited breath, trying to comprehend what that’s like.

”In the end, I suffered a burn out and my therapist thought it would be best if we had a time out. Like, a trial separation. The judge didn’t believe in full custody for a father, so he stayed with her during the week. I would dread Mondays to Fridays, not knowing if he was okay. As I said, he would be dropped off hungry and dirty. Every single time.

He sucks in a breath and looks up at the sky.

”I thought school would help. An extra pair of eyes, you know. But they would also notice the neglect and Social Services placed him in my care. And she still got to him.”

By now, he has ravaged the label and he is teary eyed.

”I just ... want to take him home. Knowing where he is and knowing he’s really okay. Just that.”

He looks at them as though he thinks they’ll decide to to say no and Thomas claps him on the back.

”Take him home, he belongs with you and his baby sister. I’m sure he’ll adore her.”

Marcus sniffles and takes a swig of his beer.

*

The next morning, Juliet helps Danny pack his belongings in a Spider-Man wheelie case and watches as he methodically wraps his dinky cars in one of the t shirts.

Her heart aches, but she knows this is for the best. Danny, being told of California and the abundance of pools there seems a little more keen on moving there. He even seems vaguely excited about the prospect of meeting his sister.

”Got everything?”

He nods and snaps the wheelie shut.

His father waits in the driveway with Kumu and Thomas.

Danny waves at them from the backseat and they watch as the car disappears from view.

Thomas pulls her close and she dries her tears on his shirt.

*

The next day, she cleans up the children’s room and nearly slips on a left behind dinky car.

She sits on the bed and stares at it and feels a twang in her chest,

Before Danny, she’d never given motherhood much thought, but now it eats away at her.

It’s not something she and Thomas have had much discussion about, but she knows he’d like to wait until they’re married at least a year or longer. Not forever, but not soon either. 

So she takes the toy car to their bedroom and keeps it in her bottom drawer, alongside the gingham romper.

Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned into a much longer novel then I originally intended, but I hope you enjoyed reading anyway.


	32. The Time Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they leave Hawaii for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m working up to some bigger storylines, but I needed to bridge them with some lighter events first. So you’re getting fluff (and light smut) in the meantime.
> 
> Also, I set this out as a ski trip first but turns out skiing isn’t really a thing in Hawaii. But a road trip works just as well.

“I will take you to Virginia. And Texas. And LA.”

He wraps one of her curls around his finger and she kisses his breast bone.

”I’ve been to Virginia.”

”Not to my hometown. Richmond and Chesapeake Bay and Virginia Beach.”   
  


She’s moving lower, not really with a mind for talking.

It’s Sunday morning, outside the heatwave is preparing another assault on the island but their bedroom is cool and light on their naked skin.

”We have museums.” He regards her as her fingers scratch his lower abdomen.

“What kind of museums?”

”Artsy ones. Civil War ones.”

She kisses him below his navel, silently indicating that museums are the furthest thing from her mind right now.

*

”I meant it, you know.”

He watches as she stands still in the doorway to the bathroom, her red satin robe not covering much at all. 

He runs his finger down from the hollow of her throat, over her sternum, inbetween her breasts and towards her navel.

”I want to take you traveling, babe.”

She has no idea where this all of the sudden comes from and the she remembers he might get his wish soon enough.

*

Later, they sit on the now canopied daybed, enjoying a very late breakfast.

She’s still wearing nothing but her kimono and sunglasses and loves the hold she has over him like this.

”Robin called yesterday, I forgot to tell you.”

He halts his fingers tickling her thigh, and she thinks he looks slightly worried.

”He’s suggested a trade.”

”Oh?”

”He’s coming here next weekend and wants absolute privacy, meaning he wants us to decamp somewhere else.” She waits for his reaction but she is met with confusion.

”He uh, was meant to go to a society wedding in Chesapeake Bay, of all places but he has a new lady friend and feels that Hawaii would win him better points with her. So we’re going in his place. He said to be inventive with our excuses.”

He ponders this as she stretches her legs and the hem of her kimono slides up a little higher.

If Robin is temporarily kicking them out, Chesapeake Bay isn’t the worst place they could land on.

*

”I was thinking, if we leave the wedding early on Friday we could drive down to Virginia Beach on Saturday. Or drive straight through the night and be there in the morning.”

The in flight movie has thus far failed to fascinate him, co ordinating their trip down to the nines.

”You’re the Virginian, you choose.”

*

Juliet has been to fancy galas, balls but never to something quite as sumptuous as this.

Instead of a hotel, all the wedding guests have been allocated cabins with big windows and an amazing view on the water. They sit out on the deck and watch the boats float by.   
  


This is so much better then galas and balls.

*

The wedding is for the son of one of Robin’s literary agents, and she can not stop staring in astonishment. The bride had chosen her three Pomeranians for wedding attendants and they wreak havoc as the ceremony is conducted. She had to restrain herself from laughing when two of them get into a loud squabble as the vows are said.

The reception is held on a riverboat, and nobody bats an eyelash at their presence. They namedrop Robin and the White Knight often enough, drink too much excellent champagne and they drunkenly dance to cheesy songs.

Later, they stumble back to their cabin and never make it to the bedroom.

*

He wants to stay like this forever.

They’re laying in front of the window, their clothes left behind at the front door.

”We should set a date for our vow renewal, perhaps start organizing a little?”  
  
She looks adorably hopeful like that.

He runs his fingers down her spine, soothing her fast whirring drunken mind.

”In the summer. You can have the dogs as your maids of honour, anything you want.”

“Anything? Even a five tier cake with chocolate frosting?”

”That’s your biggest draw, chocolate cake to feed an army?”

She giggles and twines their fingers.

”Well, yes, obviously, Thomas. What’s a wedding without lots of cake?”

*

They leave for Virginia Beach in the early hours and she sleeps in the passenger seat.

He stops halfway to watch the sunrise over the bay, sitting on the hood of the car.

The last time he did this he was the night before he was deployed to Afghanistan. He and his buddy Doug drove down the coast by way of last hurrah. They were young and unknowing of what the future would bring. Doug was the dreamer and he was the realist. They imagined they would be stationed together, fight together and come home together.

None of that happened. Doug was stationed with another battallion, fought with other newfound friends and came home in a pine box. It still stings when he remembers. Even after ten years. He holds his coffee cup up to the sky and toasts to his friend.

”If you could see me now, man. I think you’d be proud.”

*

They stop in Fort Henry and visit the lighthouse, and spend the rainy Saturday afternoon at the aquarium. They act like teenagers, his hands never not touching her.

A woman dressed like a mermaid floats behind the glass, entertaining a crowd of little girls who look at her in stunned disbelief.

”It’s Holly, by the way.”

He looks for her little dirty blonde ponytail in the crowd but quickly snaps out of it.

Just a fever dream, nothing more.

*

Later, when the rain has long gone they walk along the boardwalk and he’s unusually absent minded. 

She never imagined she’d enjoy a weekend away from Hawaii this much. In the back of her mind, the thought to someday move here ingrains itself. She can readily imagine walking here often, having dinner or just enjoy the street entertainment. In the very corner of her mind, she imagines a little girl skipping ahead of them, encouraging them to hurry up.

When she manages to push the thought down to crumbs, she takes his hand and they explore the beach.

*

Her want for him has been more feverish lately.

She clings to him for a little longer post climax, as though she wants to keep him inside her for as long as physically possible. 

Hé doesn’t mind in the least but sometimes he thinks there is an alternate reason. Something she can not or will not tell him because she doesn’t know how to.

He draws lazy circles over her bare back and down to her buttocks. She’s gloriously naked and has no intention of getting dressed ever again. She makes happy little noises as he replaces his fingers with his hands, massaging her thoroughly.   
  


“Jules?”

”Ye-es?”

”Tell me you’re okay?”

”I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? Better then fine right now actually.”

”But you’d tell me, right?”

She turns around and the sight of her flushed body makes it difficult for him to focus on the actual topic at hand.

”I would tell you. We don’t do secrets, remember.”

She pulls him down on top of her and the niggling worry dissipates somewhat, but it lingers in a corner of his mind.

*

She could never lie or keep secrets.

But how can she explain that she again dreamed of the earth splitting and driving them apart.

How can she explain it to him if she doesn’t understand it herself?

*

”So, how was the wedding? Did they like the present?”

Robin is no more then a passing whirlwind as they walk through the door of Robin’s Nest.

His lady friend follows on his heels, not looking very impressed.

They watch them leave, and he pulls her to him.

”Did you have a good time?”

She nods, because open non secrets notwithstanding, it was the best weekend she’s had in ages.


	33. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Juliet has a terrible kind of day.

The letter arrives a few days after they return from Virginia.

It also arrives on the worst day possible.

Even before she’d opened her eyes she knew today would not be good.

Thomas is already downstairs, looking awful.

His nose is stuffy and his voice hoarse and he looks at her with big pleading eyes.

She didn’t think Hawaii had a flu season but turns out, it has the mother of all flu seasons affecting mostly the male population. Thomas and Rick in particular. Suzy had sent her a long text describing Ricks agony. She’d laughed so hard she’d woken the dogs. Now that she’s facing a similar predicament, it’s not so funny anymore.

He makes little moaning noises and she watches as he is reaching for something on the coffee table.

She finally caves and hands him the tv remote.

”Hetty, go see Hetty Pua.”

He says in a dramatic tone and she can’t help but snort.

With Daniel and the impromptu trip to Virginia, they’d completely forgotten to inform their client about the case.

”Pro ... promise you will. And tell me all about it.”

She rolls her eyes and leaves him to wallow while she goes to make coffee.

*

The Pua’s house is the only one with children’s toys scattered across the front yard. She looks over at the other impeccable lawns and feels one of the neighbours peering at her from behind the curtains.

She checks her phone for messages from Thomas, but finds nothing. She’d left him on the couch watching tv, with plenty to drink and amuse himself. He’d looked at her accusingly when she left, and if she’d stayed, she’s sure she’d have put him out of his misery and not be sorry.

A little girl opens the door, looking at her with an emptiness Juliet has never seen in a child this young. Her dress is on inside out and she sucks her thumb.

”Get away from the door, Leah, what is wrong ... Miss Higgins, hello.”

Hetty looks exhausted as she grabs the girl by the collar and shoves her back into the hallway.   
  


“I wanted to update you about your case, Mrs. Pua. Can we talk somewhere privately?” She stares down the hall, but the girl has vanished into thin air.

”I have six children, Miss Higgins, privacy is not something I can guarantee.” She indicates that Juliet should follow into what should be a spacious living room but is overtaken with toys. It smells like dirty diapers and sour milk. The pictures of Frankie Pua and Jeannette Nesser burn in her purse. They had selected the most decent ones, leaving only three out of a pack of ten. Hetty has pulled a grubby looking toddler out from under the table and he gives her that same hollow look.

”In our investigation we came across these images.” She takes out the sealed envelope and places it on the table. “I don’t think they are suitable for the eyes of small children, so I think it would be best if you opened them at your convenience.

Hetty nods and before she can form a reply, the toddler has made a grab for it and scrunches it between his fists.   
  


In the struggle to free it, the paper rips and one of the pictures flies out.

Juliet watches in horror as it falls to the floor and the child screams and Hetty does not appear shocked at any of this.   
  


“Oh, that’s Jeannie. You brought me pictures of Jeannie? How is she doing?”

Juliet shakes her head in disbelief.

”She’s one of my husbands charity cases you see. He found her on one of those Internet meeting places and took pity on her.” The toddler whines and Leah lingers in the doorway, clutching a doll. Hetty takes no notice of her and continues. “She’d never been to Hawaii, and he thought it was a shame, you see.” 

It takes a while for the shock to wear off, and Juliet can feel the beginnings of a migraine coming in.   
  


“So he talked to our minister and our church paid to fly them here. She seemed liked such a deserving person. The boy was so skinny though.”

Leah, who is possibly skinnier then Daniel was is sucking her thumb and watching with interest at this sudden excitement.   
  


“The church even paid for a nice hotel and Leah, stop that. Your thumb will fall off.”

The room appears to get warmer by the minute and the sour milk and filthy diaper smell becomes more pungent. She thinks that if she stays longer she might choke. So she gets up, scraping the chair a little louder the necessary and scrapes her throat.

“What is going on here?”

Frankie Pua is standing in the doorway, glaring at them.

”Honey, this is ...”

”Mary Neville, I am the guidance counselor at your children’s school.She glances at the school pictures on the mantle, hoping her American accent is convincing enough. “I wanted to discuss possibly enrolling Leah in our pre Kindergarten program.”

Frankie Pua looks at her and there’s something unnerving about it.

The photograph is under her foot and she wonders if she can pick it up without him noticing. Instead he calls out into the hallway to Leah and she appears out of nowhere. Between her fathers gaze and this eerie party trick Juliets chest tightens with nervosity.

”This one? The mute thumb sucking one? How is that going to help anyone?”

”It might help her, socializing with other children can do wonders.”

”She can socialize all she wants with her siblings, for all the good it does. Please leave my house.”

She backs against the table and a mouldy sippy cup rolls of, she stoops to pick it up and quickly swipes the picture off the ground.

As she reaches the front door, she can hear him admonishing his wife for letting strangers in the house and the name Jeannie mentioned. The air is so heavy, and she almost collapses on the front lawn out of relief.

As she walks back to the car, she can feel Leah staring at her from the front window and she shudders. Her mouth forms the word “LIAR” and she’s never been so relieved to be able to leave somewhere.

*

She’s halfway back home when he calls her.

His voice is still hoarse and he pleads with her to bring back oranges.

The supermarket is crowded, and a thunderclap resounds overhead. The rain comes down on the roof, like someone dropped a truckload of marbles up there.

She picks up the oranges and some sundry items, and waits her turn at the register.

A woman is arguing with the cashier over a carton of milk, while the irritation behind her grows.

She hasn’t noticed him coming up behind her until he grabs her arm.

”You and your asshole husband stay away from my wife, you hear. She’s a delicate soul and she don’t need ideas put in her head. Pre K, my ass. Like you’d be able to teach the runt anything. My affairs are mine alone, bitch.”

A worried employee has noticed the situation and is approaching, and as soon as he appeared, he’s gone again.   
  


*

The rain hasn’t let up as she reaches Robin’s Nest, and the sour smell of vomit meets her at the front door. Achilles greets her happily, but she can tell he’s been out of sorts at some point.

Thomas is still where she left him, knocked out on the couch. His stuffy nose makes soft snoring sounds. The coffee table is littered with tissues and plates with half eaten sandwiches. He turns over when he feels her presence and looks at her with bleary eyes.

”Hey, howditgo?”

“Terrible. It was terrible.”

He huffs, and reaches for one of the plates on the coffee table.

”Made you one too.”

The plate consists of two slices of bread, with vague traces of mayonaise.

”Cheese sandwiches.”

He grins and holds out the plate to her, still expecting a more enthoused reaction.

”I think someone helped himself, Thomas.”

He studies the plate, suddenly realizing what happened.

”Bad dog. Very bad dog.”

He leans back and dozes off again. Then she notices the bottle of medicine, which is half drained. She’d left a note telling him to only take one tablespoon if the congestion got too bad. Achilles looks at her with his guilty dog eyes and she scratches behind his ear. She picks him up and carries him out on the terrace. His heart beats under her wrist and it makes everything just a tiny bit better.

She kisses his furry scalp and he yawns. 

  
“Have you eaten?”

Kumu stands in the doorway, looking slightly concerned.

”Come on, I’ll make you something better then a cheese sandwich. You can tell me about your not so good terrible day."

As they eat, Kumu hands her a stack of envelopes.

She freezes when she recognizes the Prosecuting Attorneys Office logo.

”What is it?”

”Louise Hanley, the woman who kidnapped me. She is going on trial and I have been called as a witness.

tbc ...


	34. The Testimony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Juliet reconnects with her demons.

She hadn't given Louise Hanley that much thought the last few months.

With her hectic life and everything else happening, it got put on the backburner but the memories are crashing back into her mind.

The smell of dirt and crackling in her ear. She still can not stand static on the radio or Thomas fiddling with the car radio to change the station.

She thinks the voices and the screeching should have come back, but luckily they didn't.

Or not yet anyway.

So she holds on tight to Thomas' hand as they wait outside the D.A's office for their appointment.

Leans into him and he kisses the top of her head.

"We could walk out of here married you know."

He nods towards the door opposite, where the registry office is located.

"No, no courthouse wedding, Thomas. A proper one with a pretty dress and a five tier cake."

"Still planning to feed the entire island, do you?"

She pushes her nose into his shoulder and smiles.

"And what if we do? Wouldn't be bad for business, would it?"

The D.A's office is stacked from floor to ceiling with files and boxes.

He guides them through a labyrinth and offers them two hastily cleared chairs and stale coffee.

"So, Miss Higgins, or Mrs. rather, let's just go over your story in short."

"Last September, I was staking out a nightclub on Pina Road. Our subject was having a good time so it ran until the early hours. Around 4 am, someone ran into my car and as I got out to look she grabbed me."

"Why were you there alone, I understand you and your husband are partners in this detective agency."

"We had a big caseload, we tossed a coin for who did what. I am former MI6, and quite capable of looking out for myself, truly."

"The defence might not see it that way."

Thomas interjects, because they both know he wouldn't have let her go if he thought it was a dangerous situation.

"She was ambushed, there is nothing she could have done differently."

"And then what happened."

"I woke up in that box, I don't recall what happened inbetween."

"What happened in the box?"

"She gave me an earpiece, she kept taunting me. Telling me no one was ... my husband wouldn't come for me."

Tears prick in her eyes and Thomas holds her hand a little tighter.

"It was dark and hot, and my hands were bound. And she kept insisting that he'd forget about me. There was a ... skull under my foot."

He opens a file and shows her a picture of the box, a white object peering out from the dirt.

"This one?"

Juliet nods and sniffles. She'd told herself this morning that she would be cool and collected but her resolve is crumbling by the minute.

"There was so much dirt. It kept getting everywhere. The static drove me insane."

"But your husband came for you?"

"He did. Always does."

A phone rings and they watch as the D.A makes a nervous phone call.

"I'm sorry we'll have to cut this short, but I would ask that you testify to these events in open court."

Juliet nods, glad to be leaving the stuffy office and breathe fresh air.

*

"How did you find me?"

They're sitting on a park bench overlooking the ocean, eating a late lunch.

She only just realised she hasn't asked him that question in all those months.

"You won't believe me."

"Try anyway."

"Palm trees."

She vaguely remembers the dream she had in her box, with him staring up at one.

"That nightclub, it has a neon sign in the shape of a palm tree, and I kept seeing it flash in my mind."

He stops and looks at the water, looking pensive.

"I found the business card, for the cable repair service? You remember? It had a palm tree on it."

She nods and chews her sandwich.

"I think she was getting rusty after all those years, to be honest. Or sloppy"

"Can we go there now? To the crime scene?"

He thinks back on that promise had made her in those first few days, and supposes he's held off on it long enough.

*

The crime scene still looks eerily desolate.

They sit in the car outside the gate, Juliet clutching a bouquet of flowers she picked up on the way.

Everything is quiet, and the afternoon heat ripples the air.

He leads her to the wooded area behind the empty warehouse and watches as she leaves the flowers in front of the rows of graves.

"For you, Amanda, rest peacefully."

There's a rustling in the trees and she takes it as a sign of gratitude.

*

"I've decided you know."

Thomas stops towelling his hair, waiting for her to continue.

"Decided what?"

"About the testimony. That I should do it. For those other women, and for closure."

He nods and pulls her close into his lap.

"You should. I will support you regardless, you know."

"I know. It's just so daunting. This isn't just a testimony like the ones we're used to. It's different when you are the vic .. subject."

He rests his forehead against hers, and she breathes in the scent of shower gel and shampoo and love.

"You will make a killer testimony, I'm sure of it."

*

The courthouse is teeming with reporters and curious onlookers.

They are allowed to enter through a back entrance. She's grateful that robin has arranged an injunction to keep his major domo out of the press as much as possible, and so far it has upheld.

Other then a few die hard reporters, nobody has shown much interest in the only survivor of Hawaii's first female serial killer.

She is given the choice to wait outside the courtroom or sit in the gallery and she thinks a full on confrontation with Louise Hanley for hours on end wouldn't do anyone any favours.

"Hey, killer testimony, remember."

She nods and leans against his shoulder.

_"Your husband hasn't come for you, has he?"_

She shakes off the memory and follows the clerck into the courtroom.

*

Luckily for her, Louise Hanley has chosen a fairly unmotivated defense attorney.

She tells the story, as detailed as she can recall. 

About the heat and the exhaustion, the skull and the parrot and the static.

He tries to barb her, trick her but she holds her ground best she can.

Louise Hanley glares at her from behind her table, her ruddy complexion magnified in the sunlight.

The D.A is kind and compassionate, and just like that she's free to step down and go.

Just go and leave it behind her.

*

Thomas waits outside for her, turning his phone over and over in hand.

"It's done."

"Well, how did it ..."

"Done, Thomas. I want to go home now."

He complies, thinking she'll talk when she's ready.

They walk down the street away from the courthouse when something catches her eye.

She's never noticed the bridal store near the courthouse. 

There is one dress in particular that draws her and she stares admiringly at the detail for what feels like hours.

Just then, Thomas calls her over and she leaves the dress behind on the mannequin in the window.

For now anyway.

*

Later, in bed she stares up at the ceiling.

"Is it a done deal?"

He looks over at her, waiting for her response.

"Is Louise Hanley a done deal?"

"She is. I've done my part. Can we not say that name here? In this room? In any of these rooms?"

He kisses her starfish tattoo and moves up her arm.

"She is, from here on forward, banned from our life. It's over, Jules. We made it."

She smiles and loses herself in him. Louise Hanley might be a done deal, but there will be other hurdles up ahead.

And she tries to ignore the chill it causes inside her.


	35. The Valentine's Day Happenings (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day, but make it eventful.

"Tell me something, anything."

"Valentine's Day is coming up, you know."

Juliet rolls her eyes, her dislike for commercialised holidays apparent.

"Tell me something else."

He huffs, and pulls her closer on the already narrow couch. They'd been watching an old baseball game, well he was anyway and she'd been reading her book laid out on his chest.

"Back in the 1970's, one of the Detroit Tigers players brought out a table leg in place of a bat. He kept striking out and blamed the bat, I guess. So he left the field and came back with a table leg."

"Did he hit the ball with it?"

"No, the umpire told him he needed an actual bat. I suppose they brought him another to use."

She laughs and it reverberates through him.

"Your turn."

She thinks for a minute and looks like she's preparing to tell him something he won't want to hear.

"I think I found my wedding dress."

He thinks back on their first wedding, and the blue sundress she wore and how he stunning she looked. 

"I'm going to go buy it next Saturday, Kumu and Suzy are coming with me."

She looks so happy when she says it, he can not do nothing more then feel happy himself.

*

Apparently, wedding dress shopping is cause for a celebration.

When he returns from the surf ski the following Saturday, he finds no less then six women in the living room all trying to outbicker eachother.

They've given Juliet a pink ribbon with the words BRIDE TO BE on it and a plastic crown and she beams at him.

"You like it?" 

She points to her crown and smiles up at him.

"I love it, hope it goes with your dress, though."

The other women cheer when she kisses him, and he sees Noelani swoon in the corner of his eye.

After they've left for the bridal store, he clears up the glasses and the trays of appetizers.

He's just closed the dishwasher when the doorbell rings.

*

The bridal store is dark and cool and the salesgirls go out of their way to accomodate them.

They bring her various dresses but she really only wants the one in the window.

Suzy helps her close up the buttons on the back and she smoothes down the fabric.

It's perfect, absolutely perfect.

"You'll need shoes, and jewellery."

Tani heaves her champagne glass and the other women follow suit.

"To Thomas and Juliet, and marriage for love!"

She admires her dress in the full length mirror and she can not wait to wear it for him.

*

Later, when she's said her goodbye to her friends, she wanders into the house still buzzing from the champagne and the excitement.

She finds Thomas and Katsumoto at the dining room table, looking grave.

"I think you better sit down, Jules."

She does and her heart feels like it's being pinched.

"Hetty Pua is missing."

The shock she expected doesn't come and she urges Gordon to continue.

"Her eldest son walked into the police station early this morning, stating that they hadn't seen her for at least three days."

"And ..."

"He insisted that his parents started acting strange after the blonde lady came to the house. Saying she was a guidance counselor."

Thomas looks at her, half surprised and half shocked.

"The guidance counselor at the school is an older man, and he doesn't do housecalls."

She tries to think back on the visit, if she'd noticed other children other then Leah and the grubby toddler. She'd assumed the older children were at school.

So Leah can talk, she thinks.

"So I want to hear what exactly you were doing there, and why you needed to lie about your purpose."

The bride to be buzz dies a painful death and she huffs.

Before she can form a reply, Thomas jumps in.

"Hetty Pua came to us, a few weeks ago. She'd suspected her husband having an affair."

Gordon seems stumped by this, even though he happily delivered the evidence to solve their case.

"I am still not grasping the whole singular aspect of that sentence."

"Yes, Gordy, he's a serial cheat. Everyone on the island knew but me apparently."

"Not just ..."

Gordon stops himself and scrapes his throat.

"Tell me about the visit."

"We hadn't heard from Hetty in a while, and we just wanted to update her on the case. But Thomas fell ill and I went on my own."

"What was your impression of the Pua household?"

She thinks back and the sour milk and diaper smell invades her senses.

"Organised chaos, I think. Lots of toys and bottles and cups everywhere. I showed Hetty the pictures and she ..."

She stops because she can't find a word for how Hetty reacted.

"She told me Jeannette Nesser was one of her husbands charity cases. He'd met her online and invited her and Danny to Hawaii. I think she said their church sponsored it."

"Yes, I found something similar in Jeannette Nessers statement"

"It wasn't a long visit, because Frankie Pua came home. I improvised."

"What was his mood like?"

"Irritated. He was quite derisive of his daughter. Said she couldn't be taught anything."

She thinks back on her relief when she finally stood on the front lawn.

"But not aggressive. You didn't notice any injuries or bruises on any of them?"

In her minds eye, she sees Hetty's dowdy dress and Leah's inside out one.

Perhaps she saw a minor bruise on Leah's knee but nothing peculiar to be found on a child.

"No, nothing special."

Gordon closes his notebook and checks his phone before getting up.

His face contorts like he's just received the worst news ever.

"Frankie Pua is holding a press conference at 6 pm, to appeal for help with the search."

*

After he leaves, they sit in silence.

"What happened afterwards?"

She looks over at him and fiddles with a leftover candy wrapper.

"Afterwards?"

"Yes, afterwards. I know you omitted something."

"Did not."

"Tell me, Jules."

"It's not important."

"Yes, it is. No secrets, remember."

She thinks for a minute, trying to recall the events in the supermarket.

"After the visit, I went to get your oranges and he was there. Frankie Pua. Told me to stay out of his business."

"He threatened you?"

She nods, all of the sudden worried about his reaction.

He slams the table, making her jump.

"Bastard better put on a good show for the press, and he'll be lucky he's on the other side of the screen."

He reaches for his phone, already calling Gordon back.

Her thoughts are swimming, and she wonders if she really signed Hetty Pua's death sentence by entering her house.


	36. The Valentine’s Day Happenings (2)

The televised press conference is every bit the theatre performance she imagined it would be.

Frankie Pua sits on a couch with the grubby toddler in his lap, surrounded by his older children

They show a picture of Hetty, when she was far younger and not yet worn out by child rearing. She was pretty enough, wearing a sundress much like the ones Juliet has hanging in her closet. Another shows Hetty on her wedding day, one of those blurry images taken by a single use camera. She hadn’t seen any wedding photos, just unframed school pictures of the eldest sons pinned to a notice board.

He pleads with Hetty to please contact them, nobody is angry etc ... It all sounds pretty flat, like he doesn’t believe what he’s saying.

Thomas stands in the doorway in his surf ski clothes, his earlier anger abated.

”He’s lying.”

”I know.”

*

She can't make herself go to sleep, and the brief moments that she does she has nightmares.

Standing in the Pua’s toy strewn living room, the toddler is under the table grabbing at her leg with his sticky fingers. There is someone in the kitchen banging cabinet doors. It seems to take forever and the room is getting darker.

She hears a scream and Leah stands in the doorway, sucking her thumb.

”Shouldn’t ‘ave come.” She says it loud and clear, in a mocking tone.

Then she wakes in a cold sweat and knows that Hetty Pua is dead.

*

A month goes by and Hetty isn’t found. The papers are loving it, and in the articles she reads she can almost hear the glee in the tone of the words.

The press conference is repeated and analyzed to death and the theory that Frankie Pua did away with his wife goes from whispers to fact to open secret. So they are surprised that he calls them out of the blue.

This time Thomas goes with her and she can tell he is reeling even before they enter the house.

Frankie looks exhausted, a child cries from somewhere inside the house. 

The living room is still messy but someone has mercifully opened a window so the smell isn’t too overpowering this time. She doesn’t see Leah but she can feel her hollow stare burning from behind her somewhere.

”I uh, know that I’m no saint. And that I have issues. But I loved Hetty. She knew of my problem and she understood. I know that her manner of dealing may seem odd, but it worked for us.” He says before they sit down.” Juliet automatically checks under the table but the toddler is blissfully absent. 

“This surprises you?” Thomas is trying to keep calm but she can feel his leg shaking, as it often does when he’s upset.

”I wasn’t home when she...you know. I had an out of town meeting and then I went to see my one of my mistresses. I only knew when the police called saying Ryan was with them and Hetty had been missing for three days.”

Behind them, Leah lingers in the doorway. She’s wearing mismatched pajamas and her hair looks like it hasn’t been combed for a month. Thomas looks at her and visibly recoils.

”Leah, out. What have I told you about eavesdropping when adults talk?”

Frankie shakes his head and continues talking.

”So what do you want from us?”

He gets up and rummages a drawer. He comes back with a bunch of newspaper articles.

”This is you guys, right? Hetty would always keep these for some reason. I’m asking you to find her, like you did those other people.”

They look at eachother, still unsure what just happened.

Later, in the car Thomas stares ahead of him pondering the next move.

”Was it me, or was that little girl the creepiest little thing ever?”

*

They start with the last people to see Hetty alive. Her children.

Ryan, the eldest is surprisingly mature for a ten year old. He sits at the table with them and describes that last day with the same accuracy an adult would. He’d come down for breakfast, they were out of cereal so he ate a sandwich instead. Kai, his youngest brother had been crying and Hetty couldn’t settle him. He was still crying when he and his other brothers left for school an hour later. He’d come home at three, Hetty wasn’t home but Kai was in his pack and play and Leah was watching cartoons. 

Thomas, still unsettled about the little girl looks around to make sure she’s out of earshot.

”How old is Leah?”

Ryan thinks and estimates she’s five. 

“Does she not go to school? She is old enough.”

Ryan schrugs and mumbles something about how she can’t be taught.

Frankie interrupts the interview and sends in his next son, Lincoln.

Lincoln, and his brothers Anthony and Billy after him pretty much tell the same story. They also clamp down when Leah is mentioned. 

“How about the night before? Was your mom sad or upset, did she act strange?”

Where his brothers fall quiet, Billy looks over at his father as though asking for permission for something. From upstairs, Kai wails and Frankie has to leave the room for a few moments.

Billy leans towards them and motions with his fingers to come nearer.

”Leah was naughty. The night before. Mommy said not to tell Daddy. He doesn’t like to hear stuff like that.”

*

That night, she finds him in the office looking at security footage.

She’s been teaching him how to hack computers and he’s been getting pretty good at it. So he hacked into the neighbourhood security system.

”Hey, Jules, guess what the password was.”

He pulls her into his lap, and she ruffles his hair.

”Hogwarts. The password was Hogwarts.”

He finds this far more amusing then it actually is and he laughs into her neck.

The footage itself is fairly bland. Neighbours coming and going, but the Pua house remains eerily quiet. At noon, a delivery van stops outside the house, and they watch the driver walk up to the house with a package. He gets no answer and takes his leave.

At one, the front door opens and Hetty is briefly seen, clutching her side.

The door closes and the neighbourhood goes quiet until the oldest Pua boys arrive home two hours later. But they don’t see Hetty leave at any point.

*

The next day, they go back to the house and are greeted by Leah.

She stares at them until Ryan comes bouncing down the hall, immediately chiding her for opening the door and telling them their father isn’t home.

“We just had two more questions, if that’s okay.”

Ryan nods, still unsure if he’s doing the right thing.

Thomas looks at Leah, but she walks away, dragging her worn out doll across the floor. 

“What did Leah do? The night before?”

Ryan looks over his shoulder, to make sure she’s really out of earshot.

”I don’t know, but I think mommy found a bad thing in her toybox again. Sounded like it anyway. And the second question?”

He leads them through the house to the backyard. The toys don’t appear in such abundance here. A slide and a sandbox stand abandoned in a corner.

They look around but find nothing of significance. The yard is closed off and has no backgate or other exit Hetty could have used. Thomas kneels next to the sandbox, trailing his fingers along the edge.

She can tell that he’s found something even before she can turn around. When she approaches she can immediately tell that it’s something significant. 

A trail of blood drops. Not major enough to be fatal but blood drops none the less.

*

”You do know there’s no certainty that that blood is Hetty’s”

He chews his pizza slice, stretching his legs on the lounger.

”Six kids, someone is bound to scrape their knee or get a bloody nose.”

She kicks his shin, urging him to move over so she can sit next to him.

”You think the killer buried her in the sandbox?”

”I don’t know, would seem kind of obvious, no? Besides, that sandbox is what, a foot of sand? Not deep enough to bury a hamster, let alone a human being.”

He hands her another piece, and looks out over the yard.

”But you don’t think Hetty snapped and ran away?”

“No, I think there’s something going on in that house, and they’re terribly afraid of it. And now it has taken Hetty.”


	37. The Valentine’s Day Happenings (3)

The phone rings early the next morning.

When she gets out of the shower, she can hear Thomas on the phone, sounding antsy.

”Yeah, we figured, six kids and all. Yeah, we’ll be there.”

He watches as she drops the towel and gets dressed, his mind clearly only half focused on the conversation with Gordon. 

“You’re such a tease. No, not you Gordie. See you at noon.”

She snorts and sticks out her tongue.

”If you’re planning to misbehave, I am leaving you home.”

He pulls her to him and starts unbuttoning her blouse. She pouts and lets him fiddle with the tiny buttons and kiss her neck.

”You drive me crazy, you know that.”

Later, when they’ve caught their breath and she makes a second attempt at dressing, she asks why Gordon called.

”He wants us to search the Pua residence. Techs did search the backyard last month but found nothing. According to a friend of his who works in that department, they couldn’t wait to be done and leave the place.”

”So not very thorough, then”

He leans back into his pillow and ponders this.

”I don’t think anyone wants to overstay their welcome in that house to be honest.”

*

The house is eerily quiet. They walk along the hallway and she still expects Leah to randomly appear in a dark corner.

The toys in the living room have been cleared into a wall of toy boxes, Leahs baby doll lay abandoned on the couch. It looks like it’s been put through the ringer multiple times. 

Juliet only ever had the kinds of dolls which she was to carefully play with. Her mother, in her earliest memory, would have had a stroke if she’d dragged them across the floor or ruined their clothing.  
  


She sits the doll against the couch cushions and it looks at her with that same hollow look her owner has.

”Jules, come see this.”

He is standing at the stove, pointing at the drawer.

”Who has a lock on their kitchen drawers anyway?”

*

The upstairs is dark, and the sour milk smell is much more prevalent here.

They look through the rooms, one with two sets of bunk beds for the oldest boys and Spider-Man and Captain America on the wall and the bedding. She instinctively thinks of Danny and wonders what his bedroom in California looks like.   
  


“Check this.”

There is a sliding lock attached on the inside of the door, and a note.

THE LAST ONE TO ENTER LOCKS THE DOOR DO NOT FORGET BILLY!

They look at eachother, and a chill runs down their spine.

Next door, they find a nursery for Kai, again with a bolt on the outside of the door.

They expect Leah’s room to have princesses or unicorns or look like a little girl sleeps there.

But it is bare. The walls, the bed. The only sign that someone sleeps there are the pajamas thrown in a corner and a locked toybox.

“The Puas sure are security conscience, right”

*

They find nothing of value, other then the locks on the doors, all of them.

As they drove home, they pass an elementary school and she urges him to turn back.

*

”Hi, we’re the Millers, we had an appointment to check out your pre K program?”

The principal is an older woman, and her sensible heels click on the tile floor as she leads them towards the classroom. The children are doing a craft involving wool and cardboard and frustrated tears.   
  


While Thomas entertains her with fictional stories about their fictional child, she checks the class pictures on the opposite wall. More children doing crafts, decorating a Christmas tree, in a school play. And then she sees it. Inbetween the smiling faces she finds one she recognizes. Making sure that the principal is still distracted, she takes the picture off the wall and sneaks it into her purse

Her phone beeps and her heart jumps a beat when she sees the message.

HETTY PUA FOUND. CALL ME ASAP.

*

Hetty is found at the edge of a woodland, not far from her home.

Her eyes are open, staring into nothing.

She looks peaceful, like someone took care to leave her there like that.

They watch as the coroner takes her body away and Frankie Pua howls behind the crime scene tape.

*

A few days later, they go back to the Pua house one last time.

They found Frankies DNA on the blanket and Hetty’s clothes and arrested him later that night. When it turned out that Hetty had not died from being stabbed or strangled, but rather from a broken rib puncturing her lung, they released him.

He sits on the couch, clutching a beer bottle.

”I knew you’d come back.”

Juliet shows him the photograph she stole at the school. Of children crafting, Leah sitting in the middle, looking unhappy.

”We enrolled her in kindergarten, we did. But she only made it two weeks before ...”

”She injured another child.”

”Went at him with a pencil. Kid nearly lost an eye. So the school asked we get her professional help and not send her back.”

”I think she was born without a soul. That’s what my mom always said.”

He sighs, glad to be able to tell someone, finally.

”We were happy to have a girl, you know. After four boys she was going to be the jewel in our crown. But the first time I held her, there was nothing. No connection. My boys would grip my finger or just seemed to know who I was. But Leah pushed my finger away. The doctors said it wasn’t unusual but I knew. It didn’t get better as she grew. Hetty thought it was a test, and made me swear to keep it in house. I fled, into my job and other women. I left Hetty to deal on her own.”

He sniffles and wipes his nose with his hand.

”Ryan called me, saying she’d been naughty and kicked Hetty in the ribs that night. And that she wasn’t doing well. I told him it would be fine, but when I came home she was dead. So I waited until after midnight to take her body away. I knew the police would ask questions and my kids would lose everything. I snuck back out and pretended to be on that trip. Until the police called. It was a charade, all of it.”

Leah lingers in the doorway, and Frankie can’t even find the strength to admonish her.

”What happens to her when I’m in jail and her brothers are in foster care?”

“How about we call the police first and go from there. I suppose it’s up to the court to decide her fate.”

*

Gordon listens intently to Frankie’s statement, and shakes his head.

Social Services already came for the children, and out of the blue Leah started talking. Sounding for all the world like an ordinary five year old. Juliet gapes in shock. As she is led away, she is treated to an ice cold death stare. Not hollow like before, but it etched into Juliets mind.

She wants to stop the social worker and warn her but they’re gone too quick.

Thomas leads her away and she welcomes the familiar warmth of him. But Leah’s stare will haunt her for a long time coming, she knows.

*

In all the commotion, they have forgotten about Valentine’s Day.   
  
Well, she did. 

When she comes downstairs the following Sunday, she is greeted by a gorgeous bouquet of wildflowers. Lavender and cornflowers and daisies. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. She can’t stop admiring it, and she can hear him approaching behind her. 

“Read the card.”

It’s a tiny piece of paper, and it has his squiggly handwriting.

”To Juliet on our first Valentine’s Day. You have no idea how happy you make me every single day. Hope you like your presents. Love, Thomas.”

She leans into him and sighs happily.

”Presents, plural?”

He leads her by the hand into their bedroom, and finds her wedding dress hanging on the closet door.   
  


“I know I’m not supposed to see it, but it was delivered while you were out. In a see through bag. It’s beautiful, Jules. You’ll look stunning.”

The dress still needs some alterations, but she doesn’t tell him that.

After she’s put it away (and admired the fabric and the pattern some more herself) he sits on the bed holding a jewellery box. He urges her to stand in front of the mirror and close her eyes.

The necklace is light around her neck, and she feels his fingers closing the clasp.

”It’s too much Thomas, I didn’t get you anything.”

He shushes her and tells her to open her eyes.

It is a beautiful necklace, a slither of gold with an amber pendant.   
  
“You know that jeweller in Kabul where I got your engagement ring? Well, his son is in the same business and he lives in Oahu. So I had to stop by and this caught my eye immediately.”

Then he notices that she’s crying.

He holds her close and kisses away her happy tears.

”I don’t need anything, Jules, just that you’ll be my proper wife in a few months time and that you’ll continue to amaze me for a long time to come.”

She nods, words failing her.

When she finally composes herself, she takes his hand and heads for the bedroom door.

”Come on, I’ll order take out, whatever you choose.”

”Anything anything, even Chinese food to last us a week?”

”Anything anything, Thomas. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write a simple Valentine’s Day drabble, as in all the romantic fluff parts but not the thriller it eventually became. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed reading it anyway.


	38. The Jazz Singer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they open up about their past.

“Was she nice? Your mother.”

He turns around to look at her not sure what prompted this. He replaces the picture frames he brought from the guesthouse and which he wants to display on the dresser. He looks at his five year old self, held inbetween his parents at a carnival.   
  


He sits on the bed and hands her the frame, and she runs her finger over it.

”She was. Strict but fair. Didn’t take any crap from me, and I wasn’t an easy teenager.”

”Well, that’s a running theme with you, isn’t it.”

He smiles and takes back the frame.

”Would she have liked me?”

He thinks back on the parade of sweet choir girls she always insisted he date, and whose hearts he inevitably broke. Girls were just a passing fancy, and fourteen year old him had not the least consideration for her matchmaking efforts. Would she have liked a British former spy as a daughter in law? He ponders for a moment before pulling her close.  
  


“I think she would have, eventually.”

She nods, seemingly pleased with his answer.

But it does make him realize that in the four years they’ve known eachother, and in almost one year of marriage they never really talked about their family. He knows her mother died when was a teenager and suffered a form of dementia. But he’s never seen a picture and she never willingly brought up more then that. He thinks her father is still alive, and that she calls him every once in a while but it’s never more then a courtesy call. It always seems to make her uneasy and he never pushes the issue.

He does wonder though.   
  


*

A few days later a box postmarked in England arrives for her.

It sits on the dining room table and she glares at it in passing but doesn’t open it.

When it’s been there a week he feels she’s being ridiculous and gets annoyed with her.   
  
“If you’re not going to open it, just return it. But at least look inside first.”

She looks behind her and scowls at the box, as though offended it hasn’t returned to England of its own accord by now.

”What if it’s a Spongey Victoria, or those good cookies with the red stuff in the middle?”

She glares and returns to her book, and he can feel her irritation burning from across the room.

”It’s a Victoria sponge, and I am sure my father would not dream of sending Jammy Dodgers or cake halfway across the world. If you want to see, be my guest.” She huffs and gets up, and he catches her wrist.

“No, we open it together.”

He grabs the box and brings it over and she sits as far away from it as the couch allows her.

The contents smell of wood and dust and age. 

There’s a letter attached, a typed one at that.

_Dearest Juliet_

_Please find enclosed some of your mothers possessions as per our last conversation. Mary Ann came across them whilst cleaning out the attic and does not wish to keep them in our house. I hope they find you in one piece, as I find trans Atlantic postage to be highly unreliable. Do with them as you will, but I hope you still value her legacy enough to not abuse them._

_Yours_

_William_ _Higgins_

It’s certainly a very unpersonal note to send to your daughter, he thinks.

She’s still scowling as he reaches into the box and pulls out a stack of records.

They are by Lena Miller, a well known jazz singer from the 80’s. His uncle Javier was a jazz nut, and he’d spent many hours working in his garage listening to her records. He mostly remembers how soothing her voice was when he was moody or sad.   
  


“So your mother was a jazz fan?”

She looks up at him and he can sense her annoyance increasing.

“I guess.”

Still not sure why this is such an issue he searches the box further. They are magazines with Lena Miller on the cover, and a stack of photographs. The top one depicts Lena holding a blonde toddler who is distracted by something off camera. 

“That’s you. Toddler you.”

She is still adamantly keeping to her corner and shows no interest in looking at the pictures.

The next one depicts a pregnant Lena, Lena holding a newborn in a hospital bed, and more pictures of toddler Juliet.

”So, Lena Miller, the famous jazz singer ...”

”Was my mother, yes. Can you put those away now?”

He takes one last look at the pictures and turns back to the records. 

“Can I keep them?”

She nods and pulls her knees up to her chest.

”If you must.”

*

The following Saturday, he decides to work on the old Chevy which has been lingering in the car park but which is hardly ever driven. It’s been a while since he last worked on a car, or had a car to work on. But the task brings back happy memories of his uncles garage and many Saturday afternoons spent there. It also takes him out of the main house, where he is still not forgiven for opening the box and inquiring about her childhood.

He puts the record on and Lena croons about love and loss and how she wishes she knew how to get it back. He stops to listen and wonders about whose love she wants to regain. From the letter, he can not imagine William Higgins to be a passionate man, or someone whose love is worth pining for. 

Her daughters love perhaps?

There’s a shuffle in the doorway and finds his wife holding two cups of coffee.

She is still looking dismayed, but her resolve seems to be crumbling.

He motions her to sit on the bench and they drink coffee. Dust dances in the sunlight and the record moved on to a song about a little hummingbird. 

“Do you really want to know?” she inquires while looking at the record player. As though her mother might appear out of thin air and catch her at something illicit.

He nods and waits for her to start talking.

”She was no saint. I know it’s not what people want to hear, because they only know the glamorous aspects of her life. They never seem to believe that she was troubled. Not even my own father, her former husband refused to see it.”

She stares into the sunlight and swallows hard.

”She was successful, yes. But she also loved to party. And drink. And she didn’t have room in her life to also manage a family. She wanted her freedom more then she wanted me.”

She sniffs and he tries to recall what his uncle, who was a big fan told him about her. Mostly her musical achievements, but he didn’t think he’d mentioned she had a child. He only knows that her career abruptly ended sometime in the late 90’s, after an incident in a nightclub.

”She and my father weren’t married long. Just four years. I don’t even remember anything we did together as a family. He was a barrister and worked long days. I never missed him after he left. I would lay awake at night listening for her to come home from a performance. And I always missed it, because it was always in the early hours.”

He tries to imagine the blonde toddler from the pictures, looking out of the window, anxiously looking out over the driveway for a car that didn’t come.

”When I was five, she came home at 3 am. Woke me up and said she was taking me to my Gran. It was raining cats and dogs and I thought we would both go stay there. Her boyfriend for the night drove us there. She left me on the doorstep, saying Gran would let me in soon enough. She rang the bell and went back to the car. I can still see her walk away.”

The tears are forming and he wipes them away with his thumb but he can tell she’s not yet finished.

”My Gran uh, was not home that night. So I sat on her doorstep in the rain until she found me a few hours later.”

She composes herself and again looks at the record player.

“I stayed with her for six months while my mother dallied with various boyfriends and then decided to take a cruise of the Mediterranean. She didn’t even come home for Christmas.”

The coffee has gone cold by now and he takes her cup away.

“I have more tales like that, but I always feel like I’m ruining people’s enjoyment of her work if I do.”

He pulls her close and kisses her forehead.

”I’m sorry. You’re not ruining anything. Promise.”

She looks into his eyes and seems uncertain as to whether he means it.

*

”Did you forgive her, in the end?”

They’re sitting on the daybed enjoying their dessert and looking out over the ocean.

She thinks over this a while, and studies her spoon.

”She had Korsakoff, do you know what that is?”

He nods, encouraging her to continue.

”All that drinking, it wrecked her brain. Her career effectively ended when she stood in front of hundreds of people and couldn’t remember the words to her most famous song. The critics were savage in their reviews. She kept forgetting more and more things. In the end, she forgot my name too. Kept calling me Helly.” 

“Who is Helly?”

”Before she had me, she had another baby. My sister. She only lived a few days. And I think that’s what broke her eventually.”

She considers how much more she’ll allow herself to tell him and bites her lip.

”But yes, I forgave her eventually. I was fifteen when she died and twenty eight when I forgave her. Because I came across my sisters death certificate by accident and it all of the sudden made sense.”

She falls silent and sighs.

*

He wakes up the next morning hearing her sing in the shower.

It’s one of those oddities he loves about her. How she can be cool and composed but can sing along to any given song on the radio. Even if it's a song rarely played. She does it without realising and he often stands outsider her office listening to her hum or softly sing.

He thinks of Lena and how most of the time, apples never fall that far from the tree. 


	39. The Fugue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which he’s the one with inner demons.

The nightmares come round once a year, around the anniversary of their release from the POW camp. It starts of with the scent of rust and stale cigarettes. He rarely comes into contact with either but it settles in his nostrils and doesn’t leave.

_”The first day, the prisoners are made to stand in the courtyard in their underwear. The sun burns unrelentingly on their skin and blisters their ears. The guards walk up and down the lines, taunting and laughing. Of the 24 men, only eleven remain standing until the end of this initiation rite.”_

He startles awake, staring at the picture frames on the dresser.

“It was so hot, Jules. Too damn hot.”

He repeats it over and over and she’s having trouble settling him back to sleep.

*

When he wakes,it’s almost noon though he feels he only slept an hour.

The kitchen is empty when he comes down, but she left the cereal and coffee out for him. 

_“Before being taken, he could never imagine hunger. Actual hunger, not the sense of being hungry. They are served a corn flavored porridge three times a day, with a stale piece of bread if the guards are amenable. His stomach contracts painfully if he thinks of food too much. He’s forgotten what things taste like. Sweet, sour, salty. It all seems such a distant past.”_

He pours the cereal and the noise against the ceramic is painfully loud to his ears.

Everything is loud and hot and smells foul. And something in his head disconnects.

*

When she comes home in the late afternoon, she finds the cereal bowl filled but uneaten and the coffee gone cold. The patio door is left open, which he knows he shouldn’t do. And he’s nowhere to be found.

*

The stable is dark and cool, a perfect hiding place.

They’re looking for him, he can hear their shouts and footsteps in the distance.

The doors creak and he makes himself impossibly small.

”What are you doing in here, Thomas?”

He responds in what he thinks Farsi, that will show them.

Rocking back and forth, not looking them in the eye.

The horse whinnies and stomps her hoof, clearly not impressed by the sudden commotion.

”Get out. I said GET OUT! I’m not going back. Not ever.”

”Go back where? Whatever is the matter with you, Thomas?”

He looks up and briefly catches sight of a starfish tattoo.

”GET.OUT.”

He grabs in the space behind him but finds only straw. Realising he’s defenseless, he flees up the stairs to the hayloft. Crawls into a corner and listens to the footsteps walk away.

*

When Kumu walks into the kitchen, she finds a frantic Juliet pacing the kitchen.

She rambles about Thomas acting strange and how he’s hiding in the horses stable and whether or not she needs to call a doctor. One glance at the calendar tells her that tomorrow marks the anniversary of his release from the POW camp. She knows because Robin would always cherish the date and mention it often in his books.

”I think he’s suffering a sort of psychosis, Kumu. I don’t know what to do.”

*

When he’s certain they’ve gone, he comes back down and settles in his dark corner again. The horse pushes her nose against his knee, as though inquiring if he’s ok before returning to her own corner.

_“One morning, the guards announce a surprise before ordering everyone to the courtyard by force. They stand in the burning sun, an hour, maybe two. A car pulls up and a small figure wrapped in blue cloth is dragged out. They dump it in the centre and he notices strands of long black hair escaping from a scarf. It’s a woman and some of the prisoners start cat calling and whooping. She looks stoic, her big green eyes studying the crowd. The guard drags her up the scaffold and makes a speech about how she is to bear her shame publicly. He holds up a knife and her big green eyes remain stoic as the life drains from them. He thinks her name was Yasi. And at the time, he thought she was the bravest thing he’d ever seen. He never found out what her crime was, perhaps it was no crime at all.”_

He is awoken by footsteps and for a minute he thinks he sees her standing by the horse.

But the image changes and she changes into a blonde woman in a white nightgown.

*

She is feeling pretty self conscious standing in the stables in nothing but a thin white nightgown. But it’s one of his favourite sights and Kumu suggested it might trigger some good memories. Hera whinnies, still not amused at her peace being disturbed in the middle of the night.

”Who are you? Where did Yasi go?”

”Who is Yasi, Thomas?”

”Yasi is dead. Saw her die.”

”Then she can not be here, but she sent me instead.”

”Ju-Juliet. Jules.”

”Yes, you know my name?”

”Starfish. Sleep like a starfish. On your arm.”

”Yes. You remember that?”

He nods, still rocking but less frantic now.

She kneels in front of him and takes his hands into hers.

”Will you go with me, Thomas? Go home with me?”

He mulls it over before allowing her to help him up and leading him out.

*

He looks at the running water from the tap, waiting for her to return.

_”Yasi is left on the scaffold for days. He catches the light on her dark hair as it moves in the wind. He doesn’t dare look at her face. Knows her eyes haven’t been closed. Until one day, he and TC are charged with corpse duty. Removing dead bodies from prison cells or the scaffold, clean up the blood and the mess they leave behind. Yasi is light in his arms but he can smell the putrefaction when he turns her over. Closes her eyes and tries to remember a prayer. He apparently does this for too long because he’s suddenly drenched with ice cold water. The shock leaves him reeling for days after”_

He lowers himself in the tub and lets his body slide under the surface.

”Can I come in, Thomas?”

*

”Yes, but don’t look at me. Turn around and walk backwards. Do not open your eyes.”

He watches as she moves towards him and knows he can see the curve of her body through her nightgown. Her calves bump into the edge of the tub as she carefully lowers herself to the floor. 

“You’re my wife.”

She nods, wanting desperately to look him in the eye.

”Prove it. Prove that you are.”

She thinks for a moment, confident that she knows this. Knows him.

“Your scars, I know where they are, all of them.”

She imagines him standing in front of her naked and tries to remember.

”One on your hairline, tiny but I know it’s there. A knick on your jawline, an acne scar, I think. A knife wound on the back of your shoulder. A burn on your abdomen. Knife wounds, bullet wounds. You are riddled with them. Moving lower, a line under your navel from surgery. A burn under your buttock which you are embarrassed about. Surgical scars from your accident in Afghanistan. A cut on your shin. And one on the sole of your foot, which looks like a tree branch.

When she finishes, she has to catch her breath. The bathroom is clammy and her nightgown sticks to her body. She desperately wants to yank it off.

”You can look now, I believe you.”

He leans on his forearms and looks at her intently.

”Are we happy? Happily married?”

The question hits her hard and she can only nod in response.

*

She helps him out of the tub and wraps him up in the biggest towel she can find.

Her nightgown sticks to her body and he instinctively reaches for the straps to take it off. It lands in a corner of the bathroom and is forgotten.

They lay on the bed, facing each other and listening to the other breathe.

”Don’t make me go back. Please.”

”You’re not going anywhere, Thomas Magnum. You still owe me a proper wedding with a five tier chocolate cake and many years of married bliss. You are home, here with me. No one is taking you away. Promise.”

He kisses her softly, like it’s the first time he’s doing it.

She smiles when he yawns and she helps him to lay on his stomach. Her fingers trail his spine, and he lets them soothe him into sleep.

*

He wakes with the biggest headache the next morning and he slowly blinks at his surroundings. They are still naked on top of the sheets, her gorgeous body lined against his. Her fingers trail over his buttocks and touching the scar running there.

”Hot pipe.”

She looks up, almost eager to hear the rest of the story.

”When I was sixteen, my then girlfriend and I hid in the boiler room at school. No one was allowed in there but we were being stupid. She pushed me against the wall and my butt hit a blazing hot pipe. Ruined my jeans and my dignity for a month.”

She giggles and kisses his neck.

He seems to be doing better this morning, headache notwithstanding.

Later, when she asks him, he seems to have no memory of what happened. He even seems surprised the estate has a hayloft. Only when she mentions Yasi, he seems to flinch the slightest bit.   
  


“Did I hurt you? When I was like that?”

He didn’t but somehow, his question about being happily married sticks in her mind.

They are, and they tell eachother often enough. But the fact that he didn’t remember worries her.

And she wonders how bad it could be next time and what she’ll do then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good? Bad? Please let me know. The original idea was a bathtub conversation, then raw intimacy and then all this happened. And I’m still unsure if I got it right.


	40. The Never Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things are thrown for a loop.

He always thought of getting married as a straight forward affair.

His bride in a pretty dress, him in his dress uniform. Party. Cake. Wedding Night.

Only in reality, wedding preparation is akin to threading a minefield.

He thought she would appreciate it, a wedding night in one of Oahu’s finest hotels. He’d made a deal with the senior manager in exchange for a complete security check and upgrade. Only, she’d answered the phone when he called to confirm and something about the conversation just set her off.

He has no idea what exactly and he’s afraid to ask.

*

She’s been feeling off for a few days.

First she blamed it on nerves and stress. But this feels deeper.

She woke up yesterday morning, wondering if her birth control was still in order.

It was the oddest thing to worry about.

But the the nausea came and didn’t go away.

*

”How could you, Thomas?”

”What, it’s the Hilo, they’re giving us a nice room for free. It has the best spa facilities on the island.”

She wants to scream in frustration.

*

It dawns on her a few days later. Sitting on a park bench, watching small children play on the playground.

While Thomas fetches the car she sneaks into a nearby drugstore and her hands shake as the cashier hands her the brown paper bag.

*

She finds him in their future library, a room off their bedroom which they plan to repurpose as a private study and to keep their overflowing collection of books.

They’ve chosen a robin’s egg blue, and he carefully runs his brush against the window pane.

”Feel better?”

She doesn’t reply, admiring his work.

“Thomas, I ...”

Before she form a full response, her nerves get the better of her and she flees the room.

*

She sits on the bathroom floor, staring at the piece of plastic in her hands.

She holds it upside down thinking of all the ramifications turning it over will have.

An end to their carefree little life. A beginning of a wholly unknown one. 

“Jules?”

She hadn’t heard him come in and she forgot to lock the door.

Inwardly cursing, she clutches the test a little tighter.

”What’s this? Are you ... Are we ...?

At least he’s not angry, though she didn’t expect him to be. She’s not sure how she expected him to react.

He sits down next to her and kisses her shoulder.

”You’ve come this far, turn it over.”

She squeezes her eyes shut and moves the stick over.

It only shows one line.

She’s not. Things will remain as they are.

And she wants to be relieved. But she isn’t.

Only disappointed in herself.

*

”What did he say to you? Harry Lews?”

“He probably thought I knew. Called to confirm the booking. And he sang the praises of the room. How it had a big romantic bed, with good springs.”

Thomas snorts and she pinches his side.

”He said it was an excellent room to ... ehm, sow your seeds.”

”I will murder him. We don’t need to stay there. Not if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to. I rather that if we were to actively try for a child, we do so in this bed. Our bed. And if the time comes and circumstances allow, I want it born in here too.”  
  


He thinks this over and nods. Kisses his agreement into her skin.

Later, when he’s asleep she silently ponders the what if.

For something that never was and will not be. 

For now anyway.


	41. The Robin's Egg Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which they paint a room and mayhem ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short little ditty which took like ten minutes to write. I also really adore Robin's Egg Blue.

_"Why am I in the corner?"_

_Thomas puts down his brush and sighs._

_Had he known his wife was so susceptible to things like paint fumes turning her into a manic pixie, he'd have reconsidered her help with the painting._

_Thus far, he'd assigned her a corner and she'd gotten no more then a quarter of it done._

_What she had managed, however was cover her jeans shorts, his overalls and his t shirt with paint._

_Every time he'd turned around she'd followed and left a handprint as if he hadn't noticed her approaching._

_"Because you are being a child. Get to work."_

_She pouts and huffs and does as he tells her._

_For all of five minutes. Maybe less._

_She's not sneaky, not even trying to be and he thinks he should find this cute._

_He feels the smack before his brain can register what is happening._

_Looking over his shoulder, he notices her a robin's egg blue palm print running over his butt cheek._

_She giggles and runs off down the hallway._

_He catches up with her and sits her firmly on one of the dressers._

_"You are being a naughty little witch, and you know what I do with naughty little witches."_

_He says it right in her ear and she shudders with delight._

_Her green eyes radiate defiance, and he thinks desire too._

_"Put them to bed early."_

_"Nooooooo"_

_"Yes."_

_She hops off the dresser and urges him to follow._

_His hand is still wet with paint and as he approaches, gently smacks her behind so she's now sporting an identical handprint on her shorts._

_The paint splattered clothes are quickly discarded of once they reach their bedroom, and they're wild and hungry and neither wants to stop any time soon._

_*_

_Downstairs, Kumu stirs the fresh lemonade, listening to Thomas and Juliet "paint" their new study._

_She didn't think painting involved that much noise, or footsteps running across the landing._

_A door slams and she just knows the actual work will probably wait another day._

_She leaves the tray of lemonade at the bottom of the stairs._

_After all, the kind of painting they're doing (or not) should make them very thirsty._


End file.
